Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Your News Update

Posted By on Wed, Jul 5, 2006 at 9:32 AM

So, here's where we are at on this fifth day of July, in the year 2006:

-- Ken Lay is dead from a heart attack, saving him from prison, but sentencing him to what could prove to be a very interesting afterlife.

-- The space shuttle Discovery is in space, and Gabrielle Giffords is trying to use the fact that her boyfriend is on the flight to her political advantage.

-- Kim Jong Il wants attention.

-- The UA has a new head dude.

-- And now we have breaking news from an astrologer that based on his astrological readings, Ken Lay could not possibly be dead.

That's your news update. God help us all.