Way back when we were kids, the three scourges of the playground were The Bully, The Snitch and The Yobbit. By the time we reached adulthood, there weren’t many bullies left. Most had had their asses beaten, not by other bullies, but by former victims who had grown into bodies (and temperaments) that allowed them to stand up to bullies. Snitches dwindled in number as well, as they learned the negative consequences of their actions (especially in rap videos), and either gave up the practice altogether or learned how to ply their trade in a discrete manner.
Sad to say, the Yobbits never seem to go away. You remember them; they get caught cheating on a test and say, “Yeah, but (Yobbit) Tom was running in the hallway last week.” He gets popped for running in the hallway and it’s “Yeah, but Tom used the pencil sharpener without asking permission first.”
The modern Yobbit is the homicidal selfish buttwipe who drives down a busy street with one-and-a-half hands and both eyes on a cellphone. When you point out that they’re going to kill somebody, they come back with, “Yeah, but that guy changed the track on his CD player. What about him? That’s just as dangerous!”
I hope they all die before they get a chance to kill somebody else.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the hiring of a coach who, over the years, had earned a certain amount of notoriety for his use of an illegal substance. Seeing as how the University of Arizona men’s basketball program is probably the preeminent collegiate athletic program in the entire American Southwest, it didn’t seem like that big a stretch to wonder why nobody at the introductory press conference bothered to ask him whether he still engages in illegal activity.
This brought the Yobbits storming out of their dens. One guy basically wrote, “Tom doesn’t smoke marijuana, so Tom should smoke marijuana.” Another guy earned express entry into the Yobbit Hall of Fame when he followed his impassioned defense of marijuana with, “Yeah, but Tom eats Doritos.”
That’s just sad. Except for a handful of easily deluded Bay Area jurors a few decades back, no one—and I mean no one—sincerely believes that the consumption of some tortilla chips and salsa or a couple of Chips Ahoy cookies is the same as smoking a mind-altering drug. Nobody’s that stupid.
One commenter posted this (and I quote): “Tom’s judgement (sic) is impaired because of all that crap for crap food he eats by his own admission. The toll it’s taken on him is as clear as day. But it’s completely legal to stick me and others with his reconstructive knee surgeries so you have to feel superior for that reason alone.”
I’m wondering if he has me confused with somebody else. I had my tonsils removed in a doctor’s office when I was a little kid. I guess that counts as surgery. If so, it’s the only one I’ve ever had. I’ve had a few stitches over the years and a couple of minor broken bones (but no casts). And despite my advanced age and weight, my knees are fine. Most important, if I did need surgery, the responsibility for paying for it would be mine and nobody else’s.
I decided early on that life is a gift and that I wanted to go through mine in full possession of my faculties at all times. That’s why I don’t drink or smoke, use drugs or even take medicine. But please believe me on this: I don’t think that makes me better than anybody else. That just makes me, me. I have lots of friends who drink and there are people near and dear to me who, through circumstance or happenstance, have to take medicine on a daily basis.
But do you know what those people never say to me? “I drink, Tom, so you should drink.”
And do you know why they never say that to me? Because they’re not jackass Yobbits.
Let me state this as clearly as I possibly can. It wouldn’t bother me a bit if marijuana were legalized. I agree that there are a whole lot of people in prison (simply because they smoked weed) who probably shouldn’t be there. While I’m not stupid enough (like some people) to claim that marijuana is completely harmless, I don’t think it’s nearly as bad for people as alcohol, heavy smoking, meth, cocaine, heroin or a wide variety of pharmaceuticals.
It may become legal in Arizona someday, but it won’t become so based on the over-reaching ballot proposal currently being circulated by 60-ish Scottsdale resident Dennis Bohlke, who keeps getting popped for breaking traffic laws while having marijuana in his car and/or system. Bohlke wants the legal age for marijuana to be 18 and he wants to prevent the police from testing impaired drivers for pot in their system.
Yeah, that’s gonna pass.
People are going to keep smoking. I just hope they stop trying to convince me (and themselves) that it makes them smarter or funnier or better-looking, because it doesn’t. It just gets them high. And please don’t do it before or while driving, or before sitting next to me at a concert.
You probably don’t notice it, but you stink like ass.
This article appears in Jun 27 – Jul 3, 2013.
I did not write what you said I wrote, Mr. Danehy. You said this:
Ricardo Small posted this (and I quote): “Tom’s judgement (sic) is impaired because of all that crap for crap food he eats by his own admission. The toll it’s taken on him is as clear as day. But it’s completely legal to stick me and others with his reconstructive knee surgeries so you have to feel superior for that reason alone.”
I did NOT write that, sir. I wrote a completely different criticism of your unfortunate attack of Coach Stoudamire. Someone with the handle of Yes Bob wrote what you think I wrote.
I wrote this: “”It doesn’t matter where you stand on marijuana use; none of us wants that (ahem) cloud hanging over the basketball program.”
You need to go smoke a joint, Danehy. It certainly DOES matter where you stand on marijuana use!
If you still think marijuana is “crap”, you might easily be convinced the world is flat. I thought you were smarter than that. What about coaches and players who drink alcohol in moderation? Are you upset with that conduct? It is no different than moderate use of marijuana.
This column helps perpetuate the oppressive and unfounded prohibition of marijuana that is a dismal failure and that has ruined innocent lives by incarcerating gentle people who possessed and smoked or ingested marijuana. That contributes to overcrowded prisons.
Thankfully, Washington and Colorado legalized marijuana. Oregon probably will soon, and I hope eventually the whole country will legalize marijuana, which is NOT crap.
Your infantile criticism of Damon Stoudamire’s sentence structure demonstrates poor focus for a Tucson Weekly writer. Mellow out … smoke a joint.”
Another commenter with the name of AZ/DC said: “I love the way Ricardo Small served Mr. Danehy that well deserved bitch slap. I love to read a post chock full of common sense and good advice.”
Please quote me correctly, Mr. Danehy. I have no interest in what you eat or what surgeries you have had. And, more importantly, retract “stink like ass”, sir, and apologize for your misquoting me.
Mr. Danehy, your mistaken quote is strong evidence that your perception and judgment (See, I know how to spell that word.) as a Tucson Weekly columnist are grossly impaired. Why is that? Is it time for you to retire?
“please believe me on this: I don’t think that makes me better than anybody else.”
Yeah, right. Then why’d you bring it up?
stop the lies!,,,,time to legalize!,,,,time to stop ruining peoples lives that like to use canabis wtich is way more safer than alcohol and currently a felony for any amount here in arizona!
by the way people cannabis just well might be the cure for cancer,parkonsons,diabeetes,alheimers,glocoma and many other illness so why does the government want to keep it illegal? because the drug companys that are some of the biggest political contributers will loose billions from poisioning you with kemo, pills and other treatments that simple cannabis can cure!,….think about it!
I stopped wasting time reading Danehy a long time ago…just skimmed through this latest rant enough to see that he’s as clueless as ever.
I’d like to know if Danehy put words in Ricardo Small’s mouth. Because that would be wrong.
J.T., Danehy DID put words in my mouth. He attributed someone else’s comment to me.
Ricardo,
You’re right. I messed up and I sincerely apologize. I printed out the Comments and then read it wrong. (It looks different when printed out; I should have double-checked.) I attributed the quote before or after yours to you. I’m really sorry. I’ll be much more careful in the future.
Jammerk65 sounds a lot like a far away relative of mine who also states that cannabis cures cancer and the AMA is suppressing it to keep doctors rich. Where does this pseudo fake knowledge come from? What is the reliable source?
As a former cancer patient who took mass quanities of chemo I can state positively. Cannisbis does not cure cancer. It is a partial cure for the chemotharapy which is trying to kill you along with the cancer (it can’t actually tell the difference). Without it , it is very difficult to eat and it helps relieve the constant aches and pains that are like the worst hangover you ever had but won’t go away. If made readily available for cancer patients across the country it will probably save many lives and make others more tolerable. Question is, why it so hard to make it available for medical treatment when you can get 27 flavors of Heroin (w/ a percription) at any well stocked pharmacy ??
Tom,
Know what chemistry your body is actually engaged is necessary for good health. Education is essential to knowledge. Your food choices should be telling you something. Your drug choices should also. The “war on Drugs” is not educating anyone including you on what chemicals are in play with your body. You should know on your own.
Stand up apology Tom. But what’s your editor doing? Working stoned??
Retrorv: On which point? I should have caught that Danehy mixed up the quotes, but it is an opinion column, so the rest is, as you likely understand, Tom’s opinion.
I appreciate Mr. Danehy’s apology and the private emails from Mr. Gibson and Mr. Danehy.
The issue about marijuana still stands controversial, largely due to uninformed attitudes and “Assassin of Youth” prejudices. Full legalization, regulation and taxation of marijuana is the solution to a significant problem in the United States.
Mr. Danehy’s slant about Damon Stoudamire’s use of marijuana and his arrest for possession, followed by a recent hire as the University of Arizona’s assistant basketball coach reflects an unfortunately widely held opinion about marijuana. It is mistaken and does not consider factual information. Marijuana is a relatively benign substance that certainly should be legalized throughout the United States. Users of marijuana, recreational and medical, are not bad people.
Damon Stoudamire is not a bad basketball coach and does not deserve the attack from Mr. Danehy. Nor does Mr. Stoudamire’s moderate use of marijuana, past and/or present, negate his abilities as a coach. If anyone truly deserves an apology from Mr. Danehy, it is Damon Stoudamire.
Well, Dan, you could fix the online column, for one thing.
Ahem…Tom…SOME cookies and chips did not do that amount of damage.
The surgery you will need is knee replacement surgery. Which you’ll likely have done on Medicare in which case we all pay for your sicknesses.
And, it’s not necessary for you to change your mind about marijuana because it is crap. The point was that “Those who live in fat-asses should not throw stones”.
Ricardo – don’t encourage the guy to smoke. Everyone knows it makes you hungry. For crap. Then Tom will have 3 problems.
Signed-Richard Pequeño
JT: Fair enough. I’ve had some other stuff going on, like the whole managing and running a paper thing.
You know what they say about the heat in the kitchen and all that, Dan. Speaking of heat, I think my friend/ foe Good Ol’ Tom took a little more than he deserved this week. He screwed up and knows it. Knowing Tom it’s still eating at him. He was gracious in his apology and the offended party was likewise in his acceptance. Done deal, move on. Other people had to get their 2 cents in. Making fun of a man’s weight all because you like pot and he doesn’t is just plain wrong. My first encounter with Tom came a few years back. He wrote a column that really pissed me off. I concluded my first E-mail to him by calling him an atomic asshole. I guess I hit a nerve because a few weeks later he wrote a column about some of the better nasty grams he’d recieved over the years. There I was at the top of the page. I admitted to him I was wrong in calling him that and since then, we still agree on just about nothing but we do it in a civil way. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue when he starts one of his anti-gun rants or insists that everyone in the tea party is a knuckle dragging moron,but I get over it. Sure, he ain’t perfect, but hey who is?
The heat in the kitchen or something like that, Dan. Speaking of heat, I think my friend/foe Good Ol’ Tom took more than his fair share this week. He messed up and he knows it. Knowing Tom, he’s still pissed at himself because of it. Tom was gracious in his apology to the offended party and he was likewise in his acceptance. Done deal, move on. It’s too bad that other parties had to stick their 2 cents in. You like pot, Tom doesn’t. No reason to bring the man’s weight into it. I thought it was just us humps on the right that were so uncivil. Tom and I have an interesting history. Some years ago he wrote a column that really pissed me off. I ended my very first E-mail to him by calling him an atomic asshole. I guess I hit a nerve as shortly afterwards he wrote a column about nastygrams he’d recieved over the years. There I was right at the top. I admitted to him I was wrong and over the years we continue to disagree on everything, but we do it as gentlemen and there’s no more name calling on my part. I do have to bite my tongue when he starts one of his anti-gun rants or insists that every last member of the tea party is a knuckle dragging imbicle. I get over it. Tom can annoy the Hell out of you when he wants to. On the other hand he does have alot of good qualities.
Making fun of a man’s weight just because he doesn’t like pot? That’s making fun of the man’s judgement. See to it yourself.
Dan-I was just referring to the quote mistake. Not the substance, of which I agree with.
In the late seventies, I smoked a lot of grass. A lot. In fact, it’s entirely possible that I may have been single-handedly responsible for the GNP of a number of South American countries. Then again, with a few notable exceptions, the stuff I smoked back then wouldn’t qualify as decent rope by today’s standards. The experience, like most, served it’s purpose. We’re the sum of those experiences, and the decisions we make. Are there things I regret? Sure. Anyone who tells you that they have no regrets is either lying, or hasn’t actually lived. If I were to tally it up, there would be more positive than negative. As far as being in “full possession of my faculties”, it’s overrated. Even under the most nominal of conditions, ones perception of reality is often little more than a house of cards. Besides which, growing up in an environment that often consisted of crushing poverty, ignorance, and violence, it was often just a way of dumbing-down enough to get by. It was probably the only thing that kept me from knocking a few heads together my own self. Once I got away, I realized that there was this whole other world. The first time I spoke to someone smarter than me, I almost cried out of relief. (That isn’t a boast, but more a description of what I got away from). I doubt that my experience was unique.
I hope smoking weed is not what robbed jammerk65’s ability to spell. His comment here was meant to be amusing I hope, and he is not really semi-illiterate from weed.