Dear Mexican: What is it about the many gringos/gabachos that constantly slaughter Spanish words? Spanish is easy to pronounce (and spell) compared to English. The vowels (a, e, i, o, u) are always pronounced the same way. In English, vowels vary a lot—difficult for new learners. All the other alphabet letters are pronounced the same way, except for a few, such as “J” (guttural-sounding) and “X” (like the aspired “J”). But “H” is always silent, “Y” is like “I”, and double “ll” is pronounced “yah.” And don’t get me started about how common expressions like “vamonos” became “mosey”. Or how “calaboso” became “calaboose,” and “vaquero” became “buckaroo,” etc.
Llamame Frustrado
Dear Call Me Frustrated: Don’t be too hard on gabachos. You simplify Spanish a bit much—don’t forget that “X” sounds like “ch” when placed at the beginning of words, that we love to elide (you try getting a gaba to translate “No, pos ‘ta pa’lla”), and that trilling your “Rs” in rr ain’t exactly easy. In fairness, Americans do know Mexican Spanish, from borracho to chichis to chica caliente to guac, torts, chimis. And the recently concluded World Cup taught American sports fans the wonders that is “Eh…PU-TO!” (“Hey…FAG-GOT!”, chanted at the opposing portero after every goal kick). All other non-Mexicans in los Estados Unidos will slowly learn Spanish as their numbers decline and Mexicans increase—after all, they don’t want to be economically retarded like non-English-speaking Mexicans, do they? Besides the only gabachos who should already know Spanish are those who live in the American Southwest—they’ve only had about 165 years to learn it, so give them a break.
As far as I can tell, Mexican food is all the same thing, based on one simple concept. Take a tortilla, lay it out open face, pile it up with meat, lettuce, tomato and maybe some cilantro, and it’s called a tostada. Fold it in half and now it’s a taco. Roll it up and it’s a burrito. Throw the burrito in the deep fryer and now you have a chimichanga. The only REAL choice anybody has with Mexican food besides the amount of hot sauce is the tortilla (corn or flour) and the kind of meat. Is that all that Mexico could come up with for their country’s cooking heritage?
Culinary Boredom in Salinas
Dear Gabacha: Wow, what did tortillas ever do to you? Not only are you pendeja, but you’re retrependeja. For chrissakes, you don’t even know the Mexican-food writings of your hometown hero, John Steinbeck. When he was going around the country while writing Travels with Charley, the Homer from Salinas wrote to his wife that he had prepared a bowl of pozole (he called it “pissoli”), which doesn’t involve tortillas (though it can) or meat (though it can). He also loved Bohemia beer, writing “Ah, Bohemia beer and the Pyramid of the Sun; entire civilizations have created less.” Finally, tamales make many appearances in his works, from Tortilla Flat to The Pastures of Heaven and more. Besides, what’s gabacho food if not bread, a choice of meat, and gallons of corn syrup?
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This article appears in Jul 31 – Aug 6, 2014.
Tamales? Those were invented for people that ran out of tortillas. Make mine tacos. Italians have done the same thing with pizzas.
No vision.
The Mexicans have slaughtered Spanish. You go to other “Spanish speaking” countries and you will notice a big difference. As a “gringo” working with Mexican speaking people I learned many malo words and enjoyed using them on unsuspecting people. I have heard many stories about the difference between north American and south American Spanish. You have to be careful. LOL My favorite food is peanut butter tamale.
I likes me some arrows con freeholeys, kayso fundeedo, seveechay and albondigas
Mexicans haven’t slaughtered Spanish any more than Americans defiled the King’s/Queen’s English.
I tire of this endless vitriole. I’ll wager you don’t even know the origin of the term “Gringo” do you? Didn’t think so….In some school systems, they have English classes, they call them “Language Arts” for fear of Offending thou. But, it’s still English. My students of Hispanic descent would sarcastically ask, ” why don’t you have Spanish classes?” to which I would reply – ” ah, we do.” They would inquire why. ” To make sure you learn to speak Spanish CORRECTLY. ” which is true, because many, it has been clarified, don’t. Ah, so, “Al Tam” above is so correct. As to your original point, why do Anglos slaughter Spanish? Simple–we live in America. English is our mother tongue and has been since we moved here (Mayflower, remember?, march westward, Gadsden Purchase, we bought the place?…ring a bell?) So, Spanish requires a little work for us, just like English needs a little work for you. It’s not that easy for us, and I know from teaching your kids, it is certainly not that easy for you, too. Clear?