‘DAILY WILDCAT’ CONCLUDES CONTENTIOUS SEMESTER
The staff of the UA student newspaper, the Arizona Daily Wildcat, could use a nice holiday break after a semester marred by a huge rift in the newsroom.
The discontent came to a head—although those involved say conflict had been brewing for some time—after managing editor Shain Bergan was cited for disorderly conduct during ESPN College GameDay festivities prior to the UA’s Nov. 21 home football game with Oregon.
Bergan was upset with the paper’s handling of the misdemeanor, according to editor-in-chief Alex Dalenberg.
“After the incident at College GameDay, I suspended Shain for five issues. I felt that was appropriate punishment,” said Dalenberg via e-mail. “We also decided to run a story on the incident, because Shain was a public figure at a public event the Wildcat was covering. However, even after Shain left for the day, he insisted on dictating how the newspaper published the story about himself. Shain continued to make phone calls and send text messages, some of them laced with profanity, making specific demands about how the story be run. For example, he demanded we run an unedited personal statement regarding the arrest, and also demanded that we not run his ‘fucking’ mug shot. Shain threatened to resign if we didn’t fulfill his demands.
“I felt this was completely out of line, especially with Shain already on thin ice. First off, you don’t talk to your boss that way, especially when you’re being disciplined. Second, it’s completely inappropriate, as an editor, to insert yourself into the editing and presentation of a story that’s about you personally. At this point, I felt I had no choice but to ask for Shain’s resignation.”
Bergan’s version of the events is a bit different.
“I was suspended on a Monday,” said Bergan via e-mail. “That night, I got a tip from a colleague in the newsroom that not only was Alex not going to run my statement that he told me he would run, but he was considering putting my headshot in the paper, along with quotes taken out of context from my statement and the police report. I immediately texted Alex asking why he was doing this and (was) not running my statement.”
Bergan said that Dalenberg then called his cell phone, “and this is what was said verbatim”:
Alex: Shain, you’re done. You can’t dictate your own story from outside the newsroom.
Shain: What are you talking about?
Alex: No, that’s it! I’m fucking done with you! You can either resign right now, or you’re fired!
Shain: Are you fucking kidding me?!
Alex: No.
Shain: Then I resign.
Alex: OK.
Shain: Fuck you.
Bergan said the misdemeanor—to which he will plead not guilty, adding that he expects to be exonerated—offered Dalenberg an opportunity to nix a plan Bergan had for a next-semester restructuring of a paper he thought had suffered under Dalenberg.
“The whole semester, it’s been poor quality, leadership-wise,” Bergan said. “… There are a lot of weird, little loose ends, but at the time, it was like, ‘Well, we like Alex; he’s trying hard,’ but by the middle of the semester, he started dating the design chief and giving her preferential treatment. That’s when we started to realize this is getting serious and ridiculous. He gave her a raise. She was making $50 a day and was only there for a few hours a day, while we’re busting our ass all the time for $28 a day.”
Dalenberg’s financials are different. He says he increased the pay of three editors: Web director Bryan Roy (from $40 to $45), the aforementioned design chief, Marisa Fisher (from $40 to $50, a raise he says was approved by faculty adviser Mark Woodhams), and Bergan, whose pay was bumped to $50 per issue.
Dalenberg explained Fisher’s raise via e-mail: “(S)he had the responsibility to put the paper to bed every night. Also, on more than one occasion, Woodhams suggested I increase Marisa’s pay, or give her a bonus, because of the extra time she put in around the office. Designers work long, late hours. Marisa was a hard worker who never took a personal day all semester. … She earned her pay every bit as much as Shain and Bryan Roy did.”
Woodhams said, regarding Fisher, the “salary received was within the parameters of the duties performed.”
Woodhams also said he wishes that Bergan would have gone through the Wildcat‘s grievance process rather than airing dirty laundry after the fact.
Bergan said the grievance process carried a risk.
“We feared that if ousting Alex didn’t work, he would fire us, and we would be out of a job,” said Bergan via e-mail. “This semester, two factions (on the executive board) were created—one in favor of Alex, the other not. So we were also afraid that getting rid of Alex wouldn’t really solve the problem, because there would still be several other executive board members sympathetic of Alex. Such people could be difficult to work with on a professional level moving forward, and we would have to ask ourselves what was being done by pushing Alex out and whether that would really have an impact, especially so far into the semester.
“You can already see the damage of the failing of our plan to fix the paper. … Look at all the people who are not coming back either as editors or altogether.”
Bergan went on to list eight prominent staffers who he said were leaving the Wildcat.
Dalenberg’s semester as editor is finished; meanwhile, Bergan has joined the desertlamp.com Web site and created his own blog, thewatchcat.org. Lance Madden will take over as the new Wildcat editor-in-chief in January.
The Wildcat isn’t exactly unfamiliar with turmoil. Bergan was himself part of a board removal of an editor.
Are the recent semester’s quarrels petty? Perhaps. Are they just par for the course? Probably.
“The paper moves on,” Woodhams said in an e-mail. “In the scope of things, this is one of the most minor staff flaps ever.”
Woodhams said that such is life at a campus publication: “There is never a dull moment on a student newspaper. There’s always going to be something.”
This article appears in Dec 17-23, 2009.
Decent story, but it’s a shame that John didn’t mention any of the quotes or information from the photo editor, who also resigned because of Alex’s gross negligences. Also failed to mention in the story is something that everyone on staff knows, and so should the public: That during a Arizona Student Media-funded journalism convention in Austin, Texas, Alex and Marisa skipped their sessions and instead decided to spend that time having sex in a hotel room each day.
Shortly afterward, Alex came to me and the advisor and asked us to kick him out as editor in chief because he said he knew he had been a horrible editor. He then reconsidered.
In fact, it became a running joke how horrible an editor in chief Alex was. He even poked fun at himself regularly. Check this out: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=… – Hilarious, but also sad because it is true.
I find it extremely funny that Woodhams marks this semester as a small blip on the Daily Wildcat screen rather than the giant f***up that it actually was.
Also, here’s how the finances really went down, and there is documentation to prove this, which John would have known had he done his homework:
-Managing Editor Shain Bergan – Pay stayed at $50 a day during the entire semester. Nothing was changed with it at any point.
-Design Chief Marisa Fisher – Pay jumped from $40 a day to $50 a day because she was sexually active with Alex. (By the way, while we had assistant editors making $28 a day and section editors making $40 a day working in the newsroom throughout the entire day and night—many 10 or 11 a.m. to 2 or 3 a.m. every single day—Marisa for some reason got $50 a day for showing up at 6 or 7 p.m. every night and staying until 2 or 3 a.m. Fair for the editors who put in much more time and effort than Marisa? I think not. It’s sickening.
-Web Director Bryan Roy – His pay WAS NOT RAISED from $40 a day to $45 a day. That is an all-out lie from Alex. His pay was decreased from $50 a day to $45 a day at the same time that Marisa’s pay was increased. I’m guessing this is how Alex was able to crunch the numbers to give Marisa a raise.
Yes, I was part of the removal of last spring’s editor in chief, Nick Seibel, but no, I was not really an active participant. I wasn’t even an editor, so I had no say in the infamous letter of no-confidence that all the editors signed that led to Nick’s dismissal. I was a simple news reporter with no editorial decision-making duties.
Oh, and the texts I sent that were “laced with profanity”, here’s what Alex was talking about. The only text of mine that included profanity: “If you’re running my police report, then my statement should damn well be in there too.” Not exactly “laced” with profanity. Also, I wrote the statement for publication because that’s what Alex told me to do, and he even assured me it would run, but instead ran quotes from it out of context and didn’t even include the statement.
Petty? Hell no, it wasn’t petty, John. I worked at the Wildcat for 2 and a half years, plus two summers, held an editor position 4 separate semesters and used this job to pay for my rent, food and school, so no, I was not being petty by pointing out the injustice that was done by Alex forcing me to resign.
I suppose not much of this really matters anyway. The paper was already run into the ground from previous semesters. All Alex did was take it down further with an oil drill. The Wildcat was a joke this semester. The whole campus community and the whole staff knew it. I only hope Lance finds a way to return it at least to semi-decency.
In any case, the Desert Lamp is where the actual premium campus coverage comes from. The DW staff even steals stories from them every once in a while. I’m glad as hell to be a part of the Lamp now, where the workers are both professional and excellent at what they do.
In any case, it’s sad to see the way things turned out. Alex has been my friend for several years and we had lots of plans of how to return the Wildcat to prominence. Those plans got screwed, though, when Alex decided indecision was the best action all semester, and there was nothing the rest of us editors could do, as Alex just vetoed all of our ideas (he even censored his own executive board during a meeting and told them to “shut the fuck up”).
By the way, John, I’m extremely disappointed that you didn’t run so many crucial points and that you didn’t fact-check very much, because simple documentation would’ve told you a lot of your story is false.
Shain Bergan
Editor
thewatchcat.org
Contributor
desertlamp.com
watchcatnews@gmail.com
Shain: As a journalist, I am sure you understand that it’s John’s job to give both sides in the space allotted, since much of this boils down to he said/he said. And that, he did.
As a member of the Arizona Daily Wildcat staff who regularly witnessed the daily happenings of the newsroom, I can say that you, too, Shain, have left out many key details. Although not mentioned in your or Alex’s statements, many of these details ultimately led to the request for your resignation. I expect that your comment regarding Schuster’s alleged failure to fact-check makes you confident in making accusations with glaring omissions. Unfortunately, you and Alex weren’t the only ones in the newsroom for the semester; the rest of us saw what was happening on a nightly basis, too.
When you were hired as the Managing Editor of the Daily Wildcat, your tasks were laid out for you:
• Assist and advise the Editor in Chief
• Assume direct responsibility for nightly production (6 p.m. to Midnight).
• Maintain and monitor the online budget.
• Monitor all newsroom desks to ensure communication between them.
• Organize and coordinate larger news projects
• Assist Daily Wildcat staff in improving their work and reaching their potential.
• Take part in the Opinions Board for the Daily Wildcat.
These tasks, as presented by Alex in an email to the staff as “what
Shain and I have envisioned,” are what you were paid $50 a day to complete. However, I believe your daily activities frequently included napping and canoodling under your desk with the aforementioned photo editor, Rita Lichamer, while others were forced up for the work not being done in order to put the paper out every night. You made your desk, as well as yourself and the photo editor, unapproachable to all other members of the newsroom by sectioning it off with blankets and pillows to provide the proper privacy for you and Rita. Since you find it necessary to include allegations of sexual activity within the staff, perhaps a mention of your own sexual exploits in the Daily Wildcat newsroom is in order.
As far as pay goes, you failed to mention that the new pay arrangements came early in the semester, at a time when you were not filling the managing editor role as it had been assigned. Others were compensated for completing the tasks which you were unable or unwilling to carry out. Woodhams is right to say that “salary received was within the parameters of the duties performed,” except in your case. Everyone who spent even an hour in the newsroom could see for themselves that while you were lying around under your desk, others, such as Marisa, Alex and various section and copy editors, were running around the newsroom “monitoring all newsroom desks to ensure communication between them” and “assuming direct responsibility for nightly production,” beginning at 2 or 3 p.m. These are responsibilities which you and Alex laid out together in the managing editor job description, and which you did not perform.
So, Shain, if we want to talk about the facts, and if you call for accuracy, perhaps everything should be disclosed. Maybe that’s not what you want; maybe it’s not in your best interest after all. The bottom line is this: If any one person is at fault for the way the paper went this semester, then everyone is. It is OUR daily student newspaper, not Alex’s or Marisa’s — or yours, for that matter. The thing about working in a team setting is that we all have our duties, and the completion of those tasks dictates how everyone else’s job goes and how effective we are as a whole. During my time at the Daily Wildcat, through multiple semesters, I have repeatedly seen a constant blame game. Who did what to make the paper what it was? At the end of the day, every staff member has a hand in both the good and the bad, regardless from whose perspective you look at it.
Dear anonymous Wildcat staffer who doesn’t have the credibility to leave his/her name:
I’m more than happy to address all your points, as they show how hopelessly misinformed you are.
First, I was active the entire semester in asking Alex for more duties, but he insisted on vetoing my duties and in essence turning me into a lame duck managing editor, which was neither my choice nor my fault.
As a result, shortly into the semester, my duties changed and my hours were typically mid morning through about 7 or 8 p.m., so understandably staffers showing up later in the day thought I didn’t do much simply because they weren’t there earlier in the day when I was.
It’s worth noting that Will Ferguson and I pretty much single-handedly held up the news desk the entire semester, writing several stories per week about important issues like the UA Transformation.
Anyway, I often stayed later than my duties laid out (even though I could leave at 7 or 8, I usually stayed until production ended each night around 2 a.m. I did this so I could help out on proofs at the end of the night, which was not part of my duties.
As far as the time Rita and I spent together at my desk, we only hung out when (a)each of our duties for that day were done, or (b)when there was a several-hours lull for each of us. For each of us, this was typically between 7 or 8 p.m and around midnight, because we had to wait for our design staff (Marisa) to get done designing the paper before we could continue our jobs for that night. Usually, this was past deadline, around 2 a.m., because our designer didn’t show up until 6 or 7 p.m. each night.
So yes, we hung out at my desk because our duties were done, and we didn’t want to waste money and gas driving all the way home, then coming back 5 or 6 hours later.
It’s worth noting that such lulls were common for many editors (as you often can’t do the rest of your work until someone else finishes their work. This creates a “hurry up and wait” situations for many editors each night).
For example, the sports editor and news editor also had such lulls, although sometimes they would actually go home during this time, which is fine. They would also watch tv or do homework in the office during this time. No one gets pissed at them, for leaving or watching tv or doing homework, but everyone raises holy hell when Rita and I lay down and read a book.
For God’s sake, there was no negligence of duties there. Hell, we were both dead-dog tired because unlike most of the staff, we had already been working for 12 hours so far at that point in time of each day.
You know how you can tell I was doing my job? Each and every time Alex gave me the head duties for the night, we made deadline. Every single time. But Alex had trouble making deadline even a handful of times during the course of the entire semester.
But Alex wouldn’t let me do these duties often. I wanted to, but Alex vetoed me.
Also, during the 2 week span that I had mono, the newsroom was a wreck. It’s funny how you don’t miss a person until they’re gone.
You want to know how horrible a manager Alex is? Even when he makes a decision, he doesn’t. Shortly after forcing me to resign, he admitted he had acted rashly and tried to get me back on staff, practically begging me to come back. Of course, I declined because I have a much better situation here at the Lamp and the WatchCat.
So you obviously weren’t around during the day. Does that mean I should say you’re a horrible staffer because you were probably sleeping or hanging out at home? Of course not, so don’t make judgments because of what I did during my non-duty hours.
You know, when I worked at the Wildcat, I nailed several girls from the newsroom. Including the EIC. It’s not a big deal. If I had an opportunity to go to a conference with a girl from the staff, I don’t think there’d be much learning….about the conference.
Oh to be in college again.
Shain, you’re an idiot though.
Shain, how did the Wildcat ever get produced without you? It is hard to fathom a single issue being published, past, current or future, if you weren’t around to make it happen. That miracle publishing session after the ’97 Final Four win, that was all you Shain. Remember when you helped out and brought the entire team together for the nursing shooting and basketball riot stories? No way that could’ve been done without your help. Shain, you are the Wildcat’s savior!
The Wildcat is more than just one individual.
Good Lord, our next generation of journalists, acting like … maybe junior high school aged kids?
God help us.
— UA J School grad (but never a Wildcat staffer, and I’ve managed to have a successful professional career without THAT experience)
I don’t know much about the UA Journalism department. OK nothing. But from what I read here the end result will be that Bergan won’t ever work in this going-to-hell-in-a-handbasket industry.
Also–Daily Wildcat staffers GET PAID??
Let me just say, as a UA professor, that none of you (except maybe ex-wc’er) looks like you have any sense at all.
Surely you know how to say, and even how to write (if not spell) “No comment.”
Ick.
Ok, I take it back. I couldn’t see the comments from DailyWildcater, Journo, or MrUltimate when I wrote my previous comment. All of them seem to have sense.
@ MrUltimate: Yes. Wildcatter’s get paid. It’s been this way for a very long time. It was the case when I was there too.
@ Journo: Do you work in the journalism field? Most J-school grads are a bunch of blithering idiots who can’t form coherent sentences. Not saying you’re one of them, but most of them are dumber than rocks. Just ask Nintz. Besides there’s nothing wrong with the Wildcat: there are a bunch of highly successful Wildcat alumns. One won a pulitzer with the E.V. Trib last year.
Shain, good luck getting a journalism job. With a unique name spelling of “Shain” you’ll be easily found out to be the blithering idiot you are. You’re about as bad as Aric Sarkissian.
Judging from Bergan’s comments, maybe there’s truth to what Dalenberg said about his actions in the newsroom. Either way, Bergan has shown a distinct lack of professionalism through what he has said here, which is a shame. It’s a greater shame that he doesn’t seem to know when to stop.
Yeah, well I wasn’t a graduate of Catalina or Rincon high schools so I couldn’t crack the hallowed halls of the Wildcat when I arrived at UA a few years ago.
As I said, I’ve had a darn good career in daily news and corporate communications despite that little flaw on my resume. And, Jonah, I’ve got a bit of experience, I’m not a recent grad. English grammar was my forte in high school and I capitalized on that strength.
As a UA journalism alum, I’d like to make it clear to those outside the UA that the Wildcat is NOT a production of the journalism department. Don’t know how it is there now, but in my day, nobody in the J School worked on the Wildcat and tried to stay as far away from it as possible.
These guys can’t be from the J School. They obviously don’t know the meaning of “libel.”
It should read: “… and we and tried to stay as far away from it as possible.”
AJ, despite the idiot drama at the Wildcat this semester, I am disappointed by your statement that “nobody in the J School worked on the Wildcat and tried to stay as far away from it as possible.” I advise all of our interns, despite the idiot drama that occasionally breaks out at a place like the Wildcat, to work there to get valuable experience.
Much of what is taught in j-school, frankly, is crap. Young journalists learn far more by DOING rather than sitting in a classroom. If someone applied for a job at the Weekly and lacked experience and clips because they “felt the need to stay as far away as possible” from the Wildcat, there’s no way in hell I’d hire them. Period.
Shain, I like how you point out how long you’ve been at the paper, and then explain how the paper was already run into the ground- while you were working there, as an editor, I believe? I also like how everyone thought you didn’t do much, because you started early and could leave early, even though you then point out you stayed late a lot. Work out your contradictions there.
In any case, maybe it’s best not to start two consecutive paragraphs with the phrase “In any case.” Just a suggestion if, you know, you’re planning to make a living in some career related to writing.
@Journo: Meh. I came from out of state and had no newspaper experience when I started there. There were several people who came from both in and out of state that were like that as well. I’m glad your career has worked out. All the more power to you.
@ AJ Flick: The WC is completely separate from the J dept. It’s freestanding, has its own budget (and gets no money from the UA). Shain, unfortunately is a J school student. It’s unfortunate that he is though, because, despite the J dept’s many shortcomings (and there ARE many, I graduated from there within the last 5 years, so I know), he really makes himself look like a complete idiot and he makes the J department look incompetent. You better believe if I was Alex or the girl Shain mentioned in his first post, I’d be talking to my lawyer about libel if what he posted was untrue.
@ Jimmy: I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m not saying that as a WC alum either. I learned more at the Wildcat in a semester than I did in four years with the J department. By the time I graduated, I felt I learned very, very little from the J dept. There are some good teachers, but for the most part it’s a bunch of people who like to think they’re great journalists, but you have to ask yourself, if they were so good, how come they aren’t currently working as journalists? I’m not talking about the folks, like Nintz, who teach a class or two. I’m talking about the professors who are there full time.
Lastly, when I worked at the Wildcat, it was continually voted one of the best college papers in the country. I wasn’t the EIC or higher up editor, just a regular person who gave up many nights and weekends to make the paper look good. It’s a sad, sad thing to see what it’s turned in to.
I agree that journalism students should work for the Wildcat at some point during their academic career and the questionable and apparent childish behavior from some staff members shouldn’t deter them. Working or interning in the field is invaluable for students of any discipline but what is learned in class shouldn’t be discredited. Although some of the best experiences I’ve had in journalism so far came from internships, and yes the Wildcat some years back, I feel I have received a great education from the UA School of Journalism. However journalism students getting hands-on experience, from the Wildcat or elsewhere should be practicing the concepts that they’ve learned in the classroom. There needs to be a balance between the two. Without theory, practice is just going blindly through the motions. The faculty at UA provides a foundation for that practice, and in my experiences, they do a quality job because most of them teach from a wealth of experience and possess solid credentials. Colleagues of mine at the J School, who seem to be the most successful in their college careers, put an effort into both their academic study and their internships. Unfortunately, Wildcatters, especially those running the show, are often too busy trying to pump out a daily paper to commit to both the school and the paper and maybe students have lost sight of ethics and responsible practice taught in the classroom. Still, the Wildcat is meant to be a learning experience, it is a student-run paper after all, and I think the staff members in question, if nothing else, certainly gained an education on responsible workplace behavior through their trials and tribulations this semester.
I’m gonna have to agree with the ex-wc’er. “It is better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
This is hilarious. What a shitty newspaper staff. You realize you’re on your way to being a national joke, right?
Shain
All of your writing whether opinion pieces in the Wildcat or comments here has the underlying tone that you are unmistakeably right and everyone else is wrong. The high majority of comments from a wide range of people never seem to take your side. Can’t you take a hint. You are a horrible journalist. Although it seems clear that the Daily Wildcat was a joke this last semester (you being a large part of the cause with your ridiculous opinion pieces), there is no single better step in the right direction than firing you. No matter how bad this Editor in Chief was, he at least made one sensible, smart decision before the semester’s end.
Some people have said that you will never be able to get a job again in the future. I disagree with those people because irregardless of how much an idiot you are, you do have drive. I predict you will never hold a job long term, EVER. I look forward to hearing about your “resignations” for years to come.
No wonder the Wildcat did not cover the fact that the UofA’s AD and other coaches belonged to an organization that disciminates against female athletes, they were too busy fighting over which female wc staffer got screwed by who and when. We were told what and where, but are lucky they left out more of the how details.
Hey everyone, as a no-way-affiliated reader who attends school across the country, I do not believe it speaks very highly of this publication to be arguing this issue through the article comments, (for those of you who are on staff at the Weekly). Say what needs to be said, but do it through closed doors, not a comment war.
“I do not believe it speaks very highly of this publication to be arguing this issue through the article comments”
The publication is arguing? Looks to me like it is one dumb a@& arguing with everyone else. He didn’t have to comment, or if he desperately needed to comment he could have confined his arguments to specifics facts. These guys claim to be members of the press, yet it isn’t obvious that they know how to handle the medium.
With this much action taking place in the newsrooms, under desks, and on trips to conferences…where do I sign up?
@ alwaysparanoidandshouldbe
They didn’t cover it because nobody cares about women’s sports at UA, except for softball. Nobody gives a damn about the soccer team. Or the women’s hoops team.
It had to be said….
yep, you’re right
“With a unique name spelling of “Shain” you’ll be easily found out to be the blithering idiot you are.”–wcalum
You’re a moron.
At any rate, sounds like things at the Wildcat are terrible on multiple levels. I’m sure there’s enough blame to go around.
I live across the country, but I’ve been thoroughly entertained at all the whining going on here. I’m laughing at you, not with you. And I would never hire you either, Shain, because nothing is ever your fault and I have problems with people like that.
There’s a great staff at the Wildcat this semester! 😀
It is a student run organization, trying to do some journalism and make enough money to keep doing journalism. Don’t let any blips on the wildcat’s past cast any doubt, and look at each of its semesters with a fresh eye. Staff turnover happens semester to semester, because they’re all students. This also means the paper can change drastically from semester to semester, usually improving though sometimes not.
That being said, don’t be afraid to comment online or send letters to the editor if you see a place for improvement, and they’re always looking for applications. Halls are definitely not hallowed there. It’s just a good place to get some experience with journalism, and students from all over campus, including the journalism department, English department, art college, fraternities, and so on participate there for this reason.
Please take these newsroom dramas with a grain of salt. They are the exception, not the rule.
Shain,
You’re a whiny cry baby. Get a life. You’ll never go anywhere in journalism. Alex is going places.
Well, I told you fucks that I’d fight it. I fought it, all right, and I won. So fuck all of you. All the charges were dropped against me, after I fought them. I hate to say I told you so, but hey, I told you so. I’m innocent. And now the court of law reflects that as well.
I don’t give a shit what all you think of me. I told you I wasn’t guilty, and now I have proof. You are all idiots, as were the folks at the Wildcat who got rid of me.
And for the record, just so you know, the advisor and several editors HAVE BEGGED ME TO COME BACK, because the news section is in such disarray. I, of course, declined. I have my own life now, and it feels so good to prove all you fuckers wrong.