So, here’s where we are at on this fifth day of July, in the year 2006:
— Ken Lay is dead from a heart attack, saving him from prison, but sentencing him to what could prove to be a very interesting afterlife.
— The space shuttle Discovery is in space, and Gabrielle Giffords is trying to use the fact that her boyfriend is on the flight to her political advantage.
— Kim Jong Il wants attention.
— The UA has a new head dude.
— And now we have breaking news from an astrologer that based on his astrological readings, Ken Lay could not possibly be dead.
That’s your news update. God help us all.
This article appears in Jun 29 – Jul 5, 2006.