CLERK WITH CLOUT

WEST LOS REALES ROAD

MAY 27, 7:41 P.M.

A convenience-store clerk’s firm but blasé attitude
apparently deterred a would-be beer thief, according to a Pima County
Sheriff’s Department report.

The clerk at the Circle K at 2840 W. Los Reales Road met with
deputies about an attempted theft. He said three intoxicated males had
been loitering outside of the store all day.

Finally, the clerk said, one subject entered, grabbed a case of beer
from the cooler and asked, “If I steal this, will you chase me?”

The clerk said, “No, just put it back.”

One of the subjects outside then threw a rock at a store wall, and
all three males took off running. Deputies could not locate them;
however, the beer was not stolen.

MORE THAN HE COULD CHEW

NORTH LA CHOLLA BOULEVARD

MAY 26, 9:03 P.M.

A shoplifter brandished a knife in a failed attempt to steal
nutritional supplements from a Wal-Mart, a PCSD report stated.

The store’s assistant manager told deputies that a young
African-American male had been walking around the store and asking
customers for money; when they declined, he became irate and used foul
language. Twice asked to leave, the subject refused, and instead got a
shopping cart and began browsing. He put a bottle of Centrum chewable
vitamins in the cart.

The subject then took the cart past the registers without paying. He
was stopped on the other side of the store’s theft-detection sensors.
He then reportedly withdrew a 6-inch carpet knife and displayed it.

The subject was apprehended and arrested. En route to jail, the
subject said he did not feel the charge of shoplifting was appropriate,
because he had not actually left the store with the chewable vitamins.
He also felt slighted because of his race, stating that he would not
have been surprised if the Sheriff’s Department lynched him. He also
threatened to sue the Sheriff’s Department.

GET SOME AIR

EAST SNYDER ROAD

MAY 31, 3:28 P.M.

A Tucson apartment-dweller found a surprise on her window after
opening it for the first time in a while, a PCSD report said.

The reportee said she had found a “lewd” picture drawn on the
outside of her apartment’s kitchen window. She believed it was a penis,
and was “very disgusted by it.” Asked who might have drawn the picture,
she said she did not know who would do something like that, and had no
idea how long it had been there, since she rarely opens her windows (in
an effort to save electricity).

The penis drawing was photographed and put on file.

This article appears in Jun 25 – Jul 1, 2009.