A WAY WITH A WORD

WEST RUTHRAUFF ROAD

MAY 16, 1:48 A.M.

A drunk female with a limited vocabulary caused trouble at a
northwest-side bar, a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report
stated.

A female bartender at Famous Sam’s, 2840 W. Ruthrauff Road, said the
subject ordered a Long Island iced tea and then headed toward the pool
tables, where she promptly began yelling “fuck” very loudly at every
customer she met. When the bartender asked her to calm down, she
started yelling “fuck” at her, too. At one point, the bartender said,
the subject was “getting in her face” so much that the subject was
kneeling on a barstool and almost coming over the top of the bar to
attack the bartender.

When a waitress asked the subject to leave, the subject started
“cursing her out,” the report noted. Both the bartender and the
waitress said the bar had been “at peace, and everybody was friendly
and happy” before the subject entered.

When the subject was arrested, she became hysterical and wouldn’t
stop using profanity, especially the word “fuck.” She explained that
the reason she was upset was that everyone in the bar was being rude to
her—they were just “mean, angry people.” She said this was the
third bar she had been kicked out of that night. She had extremely
bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and difficulty standing.

She began rambling about everything that was wrong in her life,
including how mean her brother was and the fact that she had “a perfect
Christian husband.” She then talked about her 2-year-old child, who had
recently used the word “fuck” for the first time. She said she thought
people should say “fuck” more often, as it could be used in several
different ways in all kinds of different sentences. “Fuck” was a
“multi-use word,” she said.

She then proceeded to call an assisting female deputy a “fucking
bitch” who allegedly thought she was perfect just because she had a
“fucking badge.”

THAT’S HOT

WEST DAVITI LANE

MAY 17, 10:58 P.M.

A couple received annoying sexual phone calls from someone who
implied that the wife shared canine characteristics, according to a
Pima County Sheriff’s Department report.

The reportee stated that he had been receiving strange phone calls
from a blocked number. When the reportee answered the phone, multiple
individuals would make sexual noises; when his wife answered it, the
callers asked her if she was having sex or if she was “in heat.” The
reportee said he had no idea who was calling him, but it was starting
to bother him.

The reporting deputy advised the couple to change their phone
number.

This article appears in Jun 11-17, 2009.