Best Late-Night Cable Show

Canyon State Naturists

STAFF PICK: The answer, obviously, is Canyon State Naturists, hosted by Don Titmus. The show, aired Saturday nights at midnight on Channel 61, examines the pressing social issue of public nudity. Each week, Don travels to a different exotic location and interviews a group of somnambulant, glassy-eyed nudists about their controversial lifestyle.

Don: "And how long have you been a nudist, Jim?"

Nudist: "About six years, Don."

Don: "I see. And why did you become a nudist, Jim?"

Nudist (after a long pause): "Because I didn't want to wear clothes, Don."

The endless vistas of non-airbrushed flesh, far from arousing feelings of concupiscence, give elegant if unspoken testimony to the importance of mystery in matters erotic. While we do enjoy the shows where the video feed apparently fails--a rather frequent occurrence--our favorite show so far has to be "The Fence Painting Party." In this surreal episode, several self-conscious nudists, after enjoying a backyard barbecue, proceed to frantically slop random splotches of paint on a fence--for no apparent reason--while a skeletal older man grins at the camera, thrusting and swiveling his hips obsessively. This is the sort of feverish tableau David Lynch might dream while suffering the ravages of acute food poisoning.