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Film Clips
Reviews by Ian Caruth, James DiGiovanna and Linsay Hernon
A.I. Artificial, yes; intelligence, no. This hyper-dumb Steven Spielberg pablum is a tragically cutified version of a film Stanley Kubrick had intended to make before he had the gall to up and die on us. It tells the story of a wide-eyed little boy robot who wants to be loved. The film basically mirrors its main character, screaming "Love me! Love me!" for two and half hours of not-so-special effects and gut-wrenchingly adorable antics. Not content with the cuteness of his star, Haley Joel Osment, Spielberg even throws in a talking teddy bear and a horrifyingly manipulative soundtrack by schlockmeister composer John Williams. The final effect is kind of like having Robin Williams read Pinocchio over a musical score composed of giggling babies and meowing kittens. --DiGiovanna
ALONG CAME A SPIDER. Adapted from a James Patterson novel from the same series as Kiss the Girls, this film finds Morgan Freeman reprising his role as detective Alex Cross. A botched sting operation killing his partner sends Cross into a tailspin, but when a senator's 12-year-old daughter is kidnapped the remorseful dick is put back on the job. Michael Wincott plays a criminal psychopath who poses as a teacher of pubescent computer hackers at a well-to-do private school when his actual objective is to commit the crime of the century, surpassing even the Lindbergh baby tragedy. Despite a moderate rise of intensity and Freeman's screen-stealing performance, the unpolished plot creates a tangled web of unconvincing twists with expedient conclusions and enough loose ends to leave even a spider hanging. --Hernon
AMORES PERROS. This Mexican nominee for Best Foreign Language Film lost to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, but it's a much smarter, more original film, and it's every bit as entertaining as the kung fu flick that defeated it. Weaving together three stories of difficult love, Amores Perros pays homage to Tarantino's Pulp Fiction without being just another derivative imitation. Plus it features convincing acting, engaging plotting and lots of pretty, fluffy dogs. Just like all the great movies used to do. --DiGiovanna
ANGEL EYES. James Caviezel turned down the chance to study at Julliard in order to take a minor role in the ponderous Kevin Costner-affiliated Wyatt Earp. Whoops. Apparently impressed by the big flopping sound that movie made, he's since been in a bunch of turkeys, including last year's ghastly Pay It Forward. Angel Eyes is basically a spinoff centered on the heart-of-gold junkie character Caviezel played in that film, minus the heroin but with all the somnambular mannerisms and soulful-eyed innocence intact. Playing a mysterious but benevolent man set emotionally adrift by tragedy, Caviezel takes it upon himself to be a sort of guardian?and who knows, possibly a lover?to bristly cop Jennifer Lopez. Capably but not well scripted, acted and directed, Angel Eyes isn't necessarily a bad movie, but it's eerily, frustratingly anonymous; the film really has absolutely nothing to distinguish it in any way, good or bad, from scores of other dramas. You could spend $7 to see Angel Eyes, or you could just go up to the top floor of a tall building and watch faceless people formicating on the ground below; it would be about the same thing. --Caruth
THE ANIMAL. I have to admit, I feel bad for Rob Schneider. Sure, he's rich and famous, but his material is so mediocre. He'll always be Adam Sandler's sidekick, and when you think about the limits of Adam Sandler's talent, that's gotta hurt. Still, there are some charming moments in The Animal, and Schneider gets to do love scenes with Colleen Haskel from Survivor and with a goat from, well, wherever goats come from, so that must help his feelings. Nonetheless, unless you're exclusively interested in helping Schneider feel better about himself, there's not much reason to pay money to see this movie. Its story, about a man who becomes super-human when he receives organ transplants from various animals, is livened up by a continuing dialogue about racism, but things never get too heady, unless you think watching a man hump a mailbox is heady. --DiGiovanna
ATLANTIS. This summer's Disney animated feature teaches teamwork, determination and vitality as a scrawny scholar and his motley crew save a crumbling city from total ruin. Milo Thatch (voiced by Michael J. Fox) is a gullible geek with relentless gusto and oversized glasses; he guides an expedition with a dirt dweller, a teenaged tomboy and an explosives expert through raging fires, active volcanoes and a Star Wars-like battle with murderous lobster machines in search of the legendary lost lands of Atlantis. But after a square-chinned, money-grubbing colonel (James Garner) destroys, maims and plunders for the sacred Heart of Atlantis, Milo helps the empire's Princess Kida (Cree Summer) and King Nedkah (Leonard Nimoy) regain their crystallized life force. Although Disney's usual musical medleys have been traded in for fights and firearms, the directing duo that created The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Beauty and the Beast present yet another charming and aesthetic film. --Hernon
BABY BOY. Writer/director John Singleton fails to deliver his usual charisma and intensity in this companion piece to his 1991 breakthrough film Boyz N the Hood. Shifting gears from his trademark gangster themes, Singleton examines the emotional infancy that traps African Americans and limites their potential to achieve the American Dream. R&B star and MTV host Tyrese Gibson stars as Jody, a chauvinistic pot smoker who sells stolen dresses, has fathered two kids with different women, and still lives with his own mother (A.J. Johnson), who must have gotten pregnant in the third grade. Some tension arises when the mother's new boyfriend moves in, a beefed up and bare-butted menacing ex-thug (Ving Rhames), but the monotonous sequences, hot and cold inconsistencies, comic-relief cameo by Snoop Doggy Dog, and out-of-nowhere ending keep this film from ever growing up. --Hernon
BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY. In adapting Helen Fielding's hugely popular novel to the big screen, rookie director Sharon Maguire doesn't break any new ground. Mostly disposing with the diary format of the book and focusing more on Bridget's two-man troubles than her interactions with friends or any other self-improvement measures, BJ'sD looks on the surface like just about any other romantic comedy, albeit one refreshingly free of felonious stalking behavior. So why does it work so much better than most other movies of the genre? Crack screenwriter Richard Curtis (Four Weddings and a Funeral, the BBC's sublime Blackadder) has a lot to do with the film's success; his sharp dialogue keeps things percolating, even through several unlikely plot twists. But here it is the leads who carry the movie: Renée Zellweger plays the plucky Bridget with commendable sensitivity, seeming hopeful and rather touchingly insecure but never shrill, while Hugh Grant is typically memorable playing a slightly more caddish variation on the Dashing Fop character he's perfected. Funny, charming and ever so delightfully British, BJ'sD succeeds in every respect that the similarly themed Someone Like You failed. Keep a lookout for the most inexplicable cameo ever from a fatwah recipient. --Caruth
CATS & DOGS. It is the war that originated in ancient Egypt; the war to ensure permanent and undeniable status of honor and worship; the war that requires ingenious strategies, devious skill, ultimate sacrifice and unfathomable leadership. It is the war between cats and dogs. Rookie director Larry Guterman and a talented animatronics team brandish this battle on the big screen where cunning kitty Mr. Tinkles (voiced by Sean Hayes) and his ferocious feline followers, including skydiving cat ninjas and boomerang-throwing catnip lovers, plan to overthrow man?s best friend by reversing the human vaccination for dog allergies created by a nutty professor (Jeff Goldblum) and spreading the sinister serum with an army of mice Nazis. To stop this feline revolution are a stealth extremist sheepdog (Michael Clarke Duncan), a thrill-seeking beagle mistaken for an undercover agent (Toby Maguire), a K-9 cyber geek (Joe Pantoliano), and militaristic Doberman pincers. They add more fun and entertainment to this already charming kids flick, which will be impawsible to beat. --Hernon
CROCODILE DUNDEE IN LOS ANGELES. This unnecessary third installment in the Australian-bushman-meets-the-big-bad-city routine stars Paul Hogan as the familiar crocodile hunter. He travels to Los Angeles with his mini Mick Dundee and his wife when she is asked to fill in at Daddy's big-wig newspaper company. Though the city is different this time, the trials with technology are still the same as the naïve Aussie gets lessons in the revolutionary drive-thru invention, the wonders of a coffee enema and a country bar of drag queens. This run-of-the-mill mockery of opposing lifestyles eventually leads Mick to the middle of a lame fine-art smuggling operation at a film studio which he single-handedly must stop in a funhouse-like finale. This stale sequel offers no fresh thoughts or situations, and the only laugh is from a meditation teacher, but this ironic surprise cameo hardly makes this film worthwhile. --Hernon
DR. DOLITTLE 2. Sequel: an unnecessary presentation for money-grubbing movie executives and desperate actors. This superfluous addendum to the 1998 kids' flick is no exception. Funnyman Eddie Murphy returns to converse with the critters so he can play matchmaker for a cynical circus bear (voiced by Steve Zahn) and a furry female (Lisa Kudrow) in order to save their wooded habitat from some logging lunatics on a deforestation binge. After studying the Nature Channel, getting toilet training tips and being discouraged by Hannibal the Hog, Dolittle gets some helpful paws and claws from an alcoholic monkey, a chameleon in denial, Ahnuld the Intimidator and other four-legged friends. This 90-minute sitcom does manage some subtle charm and mild humor, even from the big-breasted Cosby kid with an attitude (Raven-Symone). However, Murphy and his animal-talking talents hopefully will do little in the future. --Hernon
THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. The Loud and the Ludicrous would be a more fitting title for this summer blockbuster with a head-banging technotronic soundtrack over countless rocket-fueled adrenaline-pumping street races that would leave Danny Zuko in the dust. A James Van Der Beek lookalike with a similar bubblegum acting history (Paul Walker) plays an undercover cop who infiltrates the street racing subculture in order to bust the jewelry-heisting speed demons. Vin Diesel leads a pack of brainless thrill-seekers with his Incredible Hulk physique and macho my-engine-is-bigger-than-your-engine mentality, but stalls with his sentimental daddy issues. Though this gratuitous action flick closely mirrors other films in its genre, like Point Break, with its pretty-boy lead voicing a cocky Keanu surfer tone, it still provides enticing popcorn entertainment. --Hernon
LEGALLY BLOND. What?s this, a summer comedy that's actually funny? But then it was written by Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith, the team that brought us Ten Things I Hate About You, one of the smartest teen films of the last few years. And while the main character is supposed to look like a blond bimbo, she's played by Reese Witherspoon, who's actually an actress. Imagine that, casting an actress as a pretty woman, when there are so many talentless models available for the part. Thanks to Witherspoon's performance and the witty (if not exactly high-brow) script, this winds up being the funniest mainstream comedy of the summer. Don?t go expecting Taming of the Shrew, but there are enough laughs and good acting to make this a little more than just a diverting waste of time. --DiGiovanna
MEMENTO. A very sly film that begins at the end and moves backwards to the middle, never quite reaching the beginning. The visually stunning Guy Pearce stars as a man who has no capacity to form new memories, so he tattoos information on his body, leaves himself notes, and attempts, through a set of cryptic communiqués to himself, to get revenge on the man who murdered his wife. There are layers of irony in this well-constructed noir, not the least of which is that it requires a great deal of memory on the audience's part to piece the story together. Although ultimately it's more puzzle than movie, it's still riveting and has that rare feature of assuming that its audience is more intelligent than the average rhesus monkey. Well, more intelligent than the average rhesus monkey that hasn't taken the super-monkey serum. --DiGiovanna
MOULIN ROUGE. Imagine a 10-hour acid trip condensed into two hours. Now turn the volume up to 11. Got it? Well, you're not even close to how excessive Moulin Rouge is. This tale of a young bohemian wannabe in fin-de-siècle Paris is all noise, flash and pop music medleys. The dialogue is glommed together from a variety of top-40 hits, the costumes are so dazzling that they'd hurt Stevie Wonder's eyes, and the sets look like they're going to explode from being over-gilded. If you've been in a coma for a while, this might be just the thing to wake you up. Of course, after a few minutes of it you'll just want to go back to peaceful oblivion. Luckily, Nicole Kidman's wooden acting provides a bit of relief from this otherwise over-lively production. Also starring Ewan McGregor and John Leguizamo, who somehow manages to be even more annoying than this film itself. --DiGiovanna
SEXY BEAST. Ray Winstone and Ben Kingsley give smashing performances as gangsters going through a second childhood. Winstone is the pudgy, cuddly, infant-like Gal, who just wants to go to sleep with his bottle. Kingsley is the threatening Don, a four-year-old in the body of an ex-middleweight champion who shows up at Gal's idyllic Spanish villa to try to persuade him to come out on one last crime caper. But it?s not a movie about the retired gangster going for one more score; rather, it?s a creepy, funny film about human relations. Spacious, sweaty cinematography by Ivan Bird and spot-on acting by the supporting players make this one of the most mature and engaging films of the summer. --DiGiovanna
SHREK. The team that created the 1998 film Antz brings us a witty computer-animated tall tale full of fanciful characters, poignant morals and sophisticated humor. When the ugly green ogre Shrek (Mike Myers) finds his swamp infiltrated by the likes of Tinkerbell, the Piped Piper and the Big Bad Wolf due to the banishment of all fairytale characters from the local kingdom (a remarkable model and pardoy of the Magic Kingdom) he becomes desperate for privacy. Shrek strikes a deal with the Lord Farquaad (John Lithgow) to rescue a forlorn princess trapped in a dragon-guarded castle in exchange for the reinstatement of his quiet life in the swamp. Accompanied by a pesky talking donkey (Eddie Murphy), the diverse duo sets out to bring the headstrong Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) back for the selfish short-stack lord to attempt to quell his severe short-man's complex. An unforgettable journey of computer animation that is certainly most entertaining for an adult viewer. --Hernon
SONGCATCHER. An incredibly predictable plot takes away only a very little from this charming film by Maggie Greenwald. Janet McTeer plays Lily Penleric, a musicologist in early 20th-century America who discovers the songs of Appalachia while visiting her sister?s mountain school. Aidan Quinn plays the mountain man with whom she first bickers, then falls in love. Yeah, I know, but the music and the mountains are so pretty that the hackneyed story seems only a vehicle for delivering a gorgeous little film that is much more about atmosphere and effect than plot and story. Strong performances by Pat Carrol as an elderly Appalachian midwife and Jane Adams (who was so great in Happiness) as Lily?s lesbian sister enhance this engaging little movie. --DiGiovanna
SWORDFISH. Sure, there is the intimidating terrorist in Armani suits (John Travolta) playing Rambo in his sleek sports car with an overwhelming arsenal. There is also the scrubby-looking computer wiz (Hugh Jackman) playing Tiger Woods on the roof of his trashy trailer home, dreaming of saving his estranged daughter from the Porn King of L.A. after hacking into highly secured government funds. Plus, there's the tough-talking head honcho of the cyber criminal task force (Don Cheadle) playing Dirty Harry in the testosterone-filled slow-mo explosions. But what good are these characters without a clever script to guide them? Writer Skip Woods merely provides flashy computer lingo that is tangled in a ridiculous rationalization of a multi-billion dollar heist as being a noble crusade that protects the freedom of humanity, and that also gives Halle Berry a way to receive a substantial pay raise for her first onscreen exhibition of her seemingly augmented chest. The performances make a moderate catch, but the script should be thrown back to sea. --Hernon
TOMB RAIDER. Angelina Jolie is the next action heroine wannabe playing a Rambo in skin-tight black hooker's shorts and matching garter-belt gun holsters in this cinematic adaptation of the popular video game. The voluptuous Oscar winner stars as Lara Croft, a British archeologist with a don't-mess-with-me attitude underneath her permanent grin of confidence; she surfs totem poles, mushes sled dogs, practices bungee ballet and battles killer stone monkeys all so a magical triangle-of-life time machine won't fall into the hands of a voracious villain (Iain Glenn) during a full-scale solar eclipse. Action aficionado Simon West directs this noisy onslaught of guns and destruction through a convoluted plot with laugh-out-loud special effects and stolen scenes from such better movies as The Fugitive, The Mummy and even Tarzan. --Hernon
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