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Film Clips
BROKEDOWN PALACE. A women-in-prison film without a shower brawl or sexually harassing female guards? What's the point? Recent high-school grads Alice (Claire Danes) and Darlene (Kate Beckinsale) giggle their way through a vacation in Thailand until they're jailed for smuggling heroin. They fight over whether or not the drugs were planted, but no hair is pulled, and absolutely no head is dunked in the prison toilet. Only Lou Diamond Phillips embraces the angels-in-chains theme as exploitative, and he gives an enjoyably over-the-top performance as an ineffectual American Embassy employee. Unfortunately, he's in few scenes, and the only other actors allowed appropriate dramatic range -- some wonderfully cast cockroaches -- were passed over for dialogue. -- Higgins
DEEP BLUE SEA. An extended version of the old Saturday Night Live "Landshark" routine, Deep Blue Sea features one of the longest explosions in cinematic history. The film tells the story of a beautiful research scientist whose lipstick is completely waterproof. Meanwhile, sharks want to eat her. It's kind of Alien meets Jaws with lots of unintentionally funny dialogue. Definitely worth watching when it comes to the cheap theatres, but unless you must see a movie about super-intelligent homicidal sharks this very minute, I'd save my $7.50 for something else. -- DiGiovanna
DICK. Mostly I'm upset that such a great title was wasted on such a lame movie. The premise of two 15-year-old girls who find themselves on the receiving end of information that ultimately implicates Nixon and his staff is clever, but unfortunately any potential for political satire is lost on this flaccid comedy and its sloppy script, which relies too heavily on dialogue and a random barrage of all-things-'70s. The protagonists, Arlene (Michelle Williams) and Betsy (Kirsten Dunst), are so stupid that only coincidence and hot pants can propel them from one scene to the next. The only reprieve comes from some of the lesser characters, such as the ever-wonderful Teri Garr as Arlene's lipstick-stained mother. -- Higgins
THE HAUNTING. Wow--a horror movie without any scary parts. Could it be that millions of dollars worth of computer-generated imagery just can't scare you as effectively as a low-budget movie with a smart concept and strong performances--i.e. The Blair Witch Project? If you're looking for a thrill, see that movie; if you only want to be horrified by how awful Lili Taylor can be, check out the corny Haunting, which is at least laughably bad. -- DiGiovanna
IRON GIANT. I was devastated to learn that this film was tanking at the box office. Listen up, people: an animated film doesn't have to have the Disney trademark attached to it to be worth watching. In fact, the mouse ears are closer to one of those biohazard signs than to a welcome mat. Iron Giant is not only a great animated film, it's one of the year's best movies. Based on a short story by former Poet Laureate of England Ted Hughes, its pedigree ranks high; and it pays off in extremely well-motivated characters and a moving story that has left those few who saw it teary-eyed. If it helps to bring you in, you should know that it's got lots of politically correct themes, like that McCarthyism was bad and that you shouldn't blow up sensitive robots from space because they might want to be your friend. -- DiGiovanna
THE KING OF MASKS. Hong Kong director Wu Tianming deftly paints a simple yet moving picture of Wang (Zhu Xu), an elderly street performer who must find a male heir to carry on his mastery of a unique artform involving the rapid-fire changing of brilliantly colored masks. Things get messy when the little boy he finally adopts, "Doggy," turns out to be a girl (the adorable Zhou Ren-Ying, who makes the Olsen twins look like puke). I'm usually diabetic when it comes to sugary stuff like this, but Doggy's gutsy struggle to prove her worth to the old man (and to a culture that considers female children worthless) could pull a smile from the lips of Chiang Kai-Shek. The movie's visuals are as sweet as the plot, dishing out candy-colored images of surreal Hindu operas, monolithic religious icons carved from an entire cliff face, and the King of Masks practicing his astounding craft. It's a luxurious, satisfying film; I wanted to see it again a couple of hours later. -- Petix
MYSTERY MEN. Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria, Janeane Garofalo and Paul Reubens star as a band of makeshift superheroes out to rescue the great Captain Amazing (Greg Kinnear) from the clutches of the doughy Frankenstein Casanova (Geoffrey Rush) in this send-up of the comic-book movie. While it aims at that audience of notoriously virile media consumers who like anything featuring potent men in codpieces and women whose over-inflated breasts form the backing for their personal logo, sadly, it only succeeds intermittently at being funny. -- DiGiovanna
RUNAWAY BRIDE. If you consider the romantic comedy is a genre in need of therapy, Runaway Bride is one step closer to epiphany. Just shy of a decade after Pretty Woman, Richard Gere once again appears in a convertible to rescue Julia Roberts from a lifetime of choices hindered by low self-esteem. This time, instead of a lonely rich guy who meets a hooker with a heart of gold, we have the more pedestrian Ike, a divorced and cynical USA Today columnist from NYC who takes on the charming and misunderstood Maggie (Roberts), whose four dramatic flights from the altar are the story's centerpiece -- call it Four Weddings Without A Funeral. It's a pretty typical Prince Charming tale, with the one delightful twist that the fair maiden flees at every moment of imminent princely rescue. The Hollywood love story still has a long way to go, but Runaway Bride is one fantasy film refreshingly free of stalking, obsession, revenge and other psychotic behaviors. That's progress. -- Wadsworth
THE SIXTH SENSE. A lot of contemporary "actors" actually have only one facial expression: Michael Keaton does "confused," Harrison Ford does "perplexed" and Hugh Grant does "sheepish." Bruce Willis' specialty is a kind of gentle, supportive, avuncular smile -- a smile that says, "Hey, you're okay, champ." Here, he uses that smile as child psychologist Malcolm Crowe, who is helping a little boy who lives in fear. The boy, it seems, can see ghosts. Meanwhile, Willis can't communicate with his wife ever since one of his former patients shot him in the stomach. Hmmm. You might want to skip the boring first hour and come in late to check out the groovy undead people and the weird ending. -- DiGiovanna
THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR. Pierce Brosnan plays billionaire art thief Thomas Crown in this remake of the 1968 Faye Dunaway/Steve McQueen film about a wealthy man who decides to get wealthier by stealing an impressionist painting. Rene Russo plays the insurance company detective sent to investigate him. Apparently, her dictionary defines "investigate" as "get it on with." Beautifully photographed in the style of late-'60s American cinema, TCA works well as a romance, a thriller and a meditation on aging. An interesting note about the evolution of the art market is contained in the difference between this film and its earlier counterpart: in the McQueen version, the painting is worth $3 million; in the Brosnan version it's worth $100 million. To make up for the increased cost, the filmmakers insert an obnoxious amount of product placement, coming just short of re-titling the film The Thomas Crown Pepsi One Affair. -- DiGiovanna
XIU XIU:THE SENT DOWN GIRL. First-time director Joan Chen strikes a blow for free speech by smuggling in this piece of thinly veiled child pornography. As part of a widespread program implemented during China's zany Cultural Revolution, a young girl name Xiu Xiu (Mo-shu ingenue Lu Lu) is relocated to the countryside and forced to live with a middle-aged castrated cowboy (Toshiro Mifune look-alike Lop Sang). The latter develops a paternal yet unsettling crush on his young tent mate. Tragedy, lewdness and tedium ensue as naive Xiu Xiu becomes the Communist party girl for the local administrative council in a vain attempt to get sent back to the city. Xiu Xiu is a perfect example of the type of vapid art-house film that beret-wearing fuckwits will fawn over because it has subtitles and pretty shots of sunsets. What I found interesting was that this dull movie drew the largest crowd I've ever seen at The Loft, made up mostly of silver-haired senior citizens who wouldn't be caught dead at Adult Expectations renting Nearly Legal Presents: Hot Maoist Jailbait. -- Petix
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