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 AIR FORCE ONE. A high-octane blend of action and patriotism
fuel this predictable, average action flick. Harrison Ford plays
one really worried looking Commander-in-Chief, scheming with all
his nation-building smarts to save his family and staff from the
clutches of savage terrorists. They don't believe in the sanctity
of human life! They speak English with Russian accents! There
are problems with fuel, problems with parachutes, guns, explosions--you
know the drill. Gary Oldman, as the rat-like terrorist leader,
is actually sort of charming; but Air Force One lacks the
ingenuity and humor that sometimes make this kind of movie fun.
Or, imagine Speed in the air, with Keanu Reeves as President.
--Richter
BRASSED OFF! This goofy, affable, golden-retriever of a
movie trots along offering modest pleasures and no real surprises.
The time is the 1980s; the place a coal-mining town in England
where Margaret Thatcher's policies are forcing the closure of
the pit that supports an entire community. And with it will go
the brass band that's offered a small slice of glory and culture
to men who spend most of their lives underground. To top it all
off, a girl wants to join the band! Underground heartthrob
Ewan McGregor (Trainspotting) portrays an angry young trumpet
player with his usual flair, and Pete Postlethwaite does a fine
job as the single-minded, ailing band leader; but Tara Fitzgerald
is flimsy and annoying as the city-girl horn player Gloria. Plus,
you could toss a tuba through the holes in the plot. Why doesn't
the band ever turn the pages of the sheet music on the stands
in front of them? --Richter
CONTACT. Jodie Foster plays an emotionally crippled scientist
intent on visiting space aliens in this very long, sentimental,
but nonetheless moving science fiction film. Despite that annoying,
over-earnest quality Foster brings to all her roles as an adult,
she's very good as the driven Ellie Arroway, a researcher so focused
on seeking solace in the skies that she forgets to notice how
many people on earth love her. Matthew McConaughey plays her nemesis/boyfriend,
a hunky, non-denominational preacher who's somehow secured the
position of saving the soul of a nation. There's some silly confusion
between God and aliens, and Ellie has an annoying habit of looking
at her boyfriend whenever anyone asks her a question, like maybe
he's going to answer for her? Please. Nonetheless, the script,
based on a story by Carl Sagan, manages to link the themes of
scientific curiosity and spiritual longing despite some weak sections,
and the special effects are nothing short of wonderful. --Richter
GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE. A recent New Yorker cartoon
depicts a man watching a program that's "Rated 'P' for 'poop'."
The cartoonist must have just seen George of the Jungle,
a work that comes closer to the cinematic equivalent of "Pull
my finger!" than anything since Blazing Saddles. In
this kids' movie with inappropriate adult tendencies, villains
are regularly foiled by armpit odor, elephant urine, ape farts
and big piles of, yes, poop. I never saw the '70s cartoon upon
which the movie is based, but I'd bet a year's supply of Nice
'n Soft that excretory processes didn't receive such focus. I'd
also bet two coconuts and a banana that George's efforts to have
sex with his high-society love interest weren't a major plot point,
either. Though Brendan Fraser and Leslie Mann make attractive,
unpretentious leads for a Tarzan story (the former looking like
he just completed a vigorous muscle-building-and-body-oiling program),
and George of the Jungle's production values are uncommonly
high for a slapstick picture, I left the theater wondering whether
all of Hollywood was collectively regressing to their Freudian
Anal Stage. (Adding insult to injury, a preview for Flubber
showed a scene in which the springy substance flies into a man's
mouth and explodes out of his butt.) Naturally, kids in the audience
loved it. --Woodruff
MEN IN BLACK. Watching this movie is like having a bizarre,
detailed series of dreams just prior to dawn. You wake up amused
at the scope and silliness of your imagination--then later you
realize you can barely remember any of it. That's a good thing
because Men in Black doesn't have much in the way of substance,
such as characterization or story. Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld
(of the Addams Family pictures), the film is designed to
dazzle you quickly and let you get back to your life (unlike The
Fifth Element). Its special effects stay on the screen only
long enough to impress, the performances are punchy, and key events
are delivered in quick, jab-like brush strokes. Playing a super-competent
but hopelessly opaque agent, Tommy Lee Jones works hard and fast,
while buddy/partner Will Smith supplies his stock charisma (thankfully
with much less cheesiness than in Independence Day) as
the confused, personable newcomer. Their efforts to track down
a mean, war-mongering alien in New York aren't nearly as fun as
the movie's overall vision of a reality where extraterrestrials
come and go freely, under our noses, while jaded government agents
keep them in check, and universe-sized creatures play marbles
with the cosmos. It's a slick, light-spirited summer product,
the kind so confident it glibly announces its intentions for a
sequel at the end. --Woodruff
OPERATION CONDOR. Jackie Chan, the bouncy, cartoon-like
genius of Hong Kong action flicks, is back to defend the honor
of the free world. He's been sent on a mission by the United Nations
to uncover a cleverly guarded cache of Nazi gold. No, it's not
in a numbered Swiss bank account, it's in the middle of the Sudan
(I think), surrounded by angry natives, foxy young girls and bad-tempered
henchmen. Every few minutes Chan must fight these fellows; he's
quite good-natured about this, and though violence abounds no
one seems to ever really get hurt. The dialogue is badly dubbed
into English but the stunts are terrific, though after a while
the shotgun karate kicks get a little mind-numbing. But isn't
that what it's all about? --Richter
NOTHING TO LOSE. I had a dream I was trying to write this
thing here but I couldn't remember the name of the movie...A swirling
mass of trite phrases...orange, manta ray, a dwarf.... I believed
the title might be the vaguely homoerotic The Bigger The Bucks;
then I was convinced it was Nobody's Business, which I
believe to be the name of some other movie (in real life). Bland,
empty, meaningless wordplays arose and fell away in my tormented
head; scenes from 20 different buddy movies blended together and
recombined: A married man kisses a girl in an elevator while
he is being lobotomized. Alas, nothing that interesting: It's
just your standard black guy/white guy buddy movie, with Tim Robbins
as an advertising executive out-of-control. Strange coincidences
that somehow aren't that strange and sugar-coated family scenes
add up to something so bland and forgettable that really, I am
awake now and I can't remember the title. I'm going to go look
it up. --Richter
SPAWN. A film based on Todd McFarlane's big, dumb comic
book is (surprise!) a big, dumb comic-book movie. The plot involves
a government agent (Michael Jai White) who gets double-crossed
by his boss (Martin Sheen) and sent to hell, where Satan makes
a deal with him: He can return to earth only if he leads the minions
of hell against the gates of heaven. Well, whatever. The effects
(other than the computer animated representation of Satan, who
looks like the warrior princess from the first Mortal Kombat game)
are pretty; the sets at times more than perfunctory; the acting,
atrocious across the board (with the exception of John Leguizamo,
who at least enjoys himself as an evil demon clown). But it's
the script that deserves the full brunt of criticism: Dull, clunky
and uninspired, it drags the characters around so predictably
and without effect that it'll leave even hardcore Spawn-ites
unenthused. Avoid this shrieking mess at all costs. Summer, please
be over soon. --Marchant
ULEE'S GOLD. This sweet, slow-paced movie about a beekeeper
who holds his family together through a period of chaos is uneven
but ultimately rewarding. Peter Fonda plays Ulee, an emotionally
withdrawn man who must muster all his resources to save his family
from mayhem, dissolution, and The Law. Some of the supporting
characters aren't quite as well drawn as Ulee, but the story is
mostly about him anyway. This quiet movie harbors big themes about
the value of labor, the redemptive power of nature, and the daily
task of giving love, but doesn't hit you over the head with them.
And the bees are cool. --Richter
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