How To Make A Million With A Leap Of Faith. By James DiGiovanna Jesus CEO: Using Ancient Wisdom for Visionary Leadership, by Laurie Beth Jones (Hyperion). Paper, $10.95. APPARENTLY, LAURIE BETH Jones is one of those lucky people born without a soul. I can find no other explanation for her perverse reading of Jesus as a business leader and the 12 apostles as his "staff." In a trope as devoid of creativity as the book is lacking in spirituality, each chapter title in her unselfconsciously heretical book begins with the word "He," and places Jesus in the role of upper management: He Formed a Team; He Believed in Himself; He Kept in Constant Contact with His Boss; He Branched Out; He Boiled It Down; He Served Only the Best Wine; He Trained His Replacements; He Was a Turnaround Specialist; He Clearly Defined Their Work-Related Benefits; He Managed From The Inside Out. Each chapter then ends with Jesus' name substituted for the word "He"--"Jesus formed a team...Jesus believed in himself..." etc. In between are a few short paragraphs of vapid, non-specific self-help saws, the kind of overly general, feel-good platitudes that make a reader believe something has been said, when, in fact, no such thing has occurred. On the other hand, if you take the whole thing as a joke, the book is much funnier than most of what passes for humor these days. Jones makes wild leaps, equating, for example, Jesus' using one loaf of bread to feed thousands with a salesman who sees everyone he meets as a network of friends and family who are potential customers. Both Jesus and the salesman are "Keenly Aware of (Their) Resources." Jones closes this chapter by asking the reader, "How frequently do you update and review all the resources in your Rolodex?" which, as every Bible scholar knows, is obviously the question the story of the loaves and fishes is meant to bring forth. Her reading would have camels effortlessly slipping through the eyes of needles as she interprets Holy Writ as sanctioning capitalist ownership: "Jesus clearly demonstrated a sense of ownership of all things," "the whole essence of the Bible is about a loving God trying to convince the children that he is eager to give them good things." In a chapter entitled "He Had a Passionate Commitment to the Cause," she dismisses the idea that Jesus' driving the money changers from the temple had anything to do with "God's contempt for greed." Rather, she says, "I think his heart just filled with emotion that spilled over into action...there was definitely strong emotion there." She takes this as a lesson to leaders to "know how to shout and cry" and then quickly goes on to another story, distancing herself as rapidly as she can from the possibility that Jesus was not so hot on the dedication to excessive accumulation of wealth. In fact, she notes that "Jesus was constantly advising his staff on ways to identify and increase their true wealth." She does admit that "Jesus' definition of wealth might not be the same as ours," however, that is not the important thing; what is important, she continues in the same sentence, is that "he clearly defined the rewards to people who worked for him." So, basically, a 401-K plan or eternal life are pretty much the same thing. The list of absurdities is far too long to fully detail here: She refers to Jesus' sermons as "memos," she sees Jesus as a member of the service industry because of his practice of miraculously healing the sick, she seems to think that Jesus would have wanted us all to be millionaires...and so on and so forth. If you're looking for a laugh, read Jesus CEO in the bookstores; but, I pray of you, don't buy it and thereby encourage Jones to write Muhammed Middle Manager and The Basic Pyramid Scheme According to Buddha.

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