Tucson Weekly: The Skinny (January 22

Skinny CHAIN GANG-BANG: Still think all that growth is good for the economy? It was sure good for the Haunted Bookshop, Jeff's Classical Records and, most recently, Bocatta Bistro.
Arizona Daily Star business reporter Bob Christman recently quoted Steven Braun, president of Bocatta, on the reason the long-time Tucson restaurant closed while financially reorganizing:
"Braun blamed the establishment's temporary closure on increased competition 'from a lot of new restaurants and a lot of chains that have moved into town. Our volume was affected. We didn't have the amount of business, although the restaurant was still very popular, and still had great food and service.' "
HE SHOWS REMARKABLE TALENT WHEN IT COMES TO SIZING TIRES: Skinny sources tell us that Ron St. John, aide to Republican Mike Boyd (current chairman of the Pima County Board of Supervisors), has spent the last couple of months lobbying for a job with the administration of Gov. Jane Dee Hull. St. John has had friends and colleagues send letters of recommendation and support to the Governor and her staff, but (as of press time, at least) he's yet to land a job. It may be that some folks remember St. John's abortive 1996 candidacy for the state House of Representatives. He never even filed for the office, but spent more than $20,000 of other people's money on numerous campaign items, including books, rental cars, tires and suits.
Old-time county observers are snickering at St. John's latest job hunt, recalling some of the statements by St. John and Boyd about the evils of "political patronage" when it occurs at the county level.
BILLS TO BEWARE: While lawmakers keep saying that reforming the state's school finance system and cutting taxes are at the top of their priorities, there are plenty of other bills floating around the state Legislature as it starts the '98 session.
Before the session even began, legislators had introduced more than 250 bills in the House and more than 60 in the Senate. Perusing the list in a recent edition of the Arizona Capitol Times, we came across these vital laws:
• Senate Bill 1039 would designate Casa Grande series soil as the official state soil--and it's damn well about time!
• House Concurrent Resolution 2008 asks voters to approve a law on this year's November ballot which would amend the state constitution so that lawmakers could raise their own salaries, rather than allowing the public to approve the raises. That should find a lot of support at the ballot box.
• House Bill 2202 exempts schools from all previous laws and bills except those relating to health, safety, civil rights and insurance. No point in looking those laws over one by one--let's just scrap 'em all!
Lawmakers also seem to have some problems with the method by which their colleagues are currently appointed to fill the occasional vacancy:
• House Concurrent Resolution 2011 asks voters to create a new position of vice-governor, who runs on the same ticket as the governor. Our new vice-governor would step in if the sitting governor were somehow disposed--say, by a federal conviction or impeachment by the Arizona Legislature.
• Currently, county supervisors pick a replacement when a legislator dies or resigns. House Bill 2122 would allow the district precinct committee to select five nominees, with the governor making the final call.
• If lawmakers don't like that version, they can take a look at House Bill 2183, which allows the state party chairman to oversee the replacement process.
• Likewise, county supervisors now appoint replacements when a fellow supervisor resigns or dies. House Bill 2131 would allow the political party the supe was affiliated with to pick the replacement, ensuring that party hacks would have an opportunity to brown-nose their way into office.
LAND GRAB: The state Land Department is lurking over any new legislation involving incorporation and annexation. Staffers want to be able to veto the inclusion of state lands in any new towns. They don't want to face local zoning ordinances, because they feel that would hamper their ability to cut deals with developers prior to state land auctions where they grant "planning permits"to developers. Gee, this scam is even better than the old rent-a cow deal where developers pay few taxes on land zoned for high-density master-planned communities. Now they can plan their blade-'n'-grade escapades without even owning the dirt.
This shameful policy is a product of the myopic view of the Arizona Land Department, which inteprets its mandate to sell state lands for "highest and best use" as simply "highest"--as in high density. That may bring in more money for schools initially, but it bankrupts districts in the future, when all the kiddies from those new tract houses overcrowd the classrooms. That's one reason why two kinds of school districts are in trouble financially--poor districts and high-growth districts. State Land Department officials, who have never figured that one out, remain tax-subsidized local agents for the Growth Lobby.
BLOCKHEADS: The Arizona Daily Star, still lacking a political reporter, has decided to return to the "candidate announcement block" the paper has used in prior election cycles, which contains a basic biography of people who file to seek public office.
The first one ran last week, for Democrat Wayne Bryant, an environmental activist and local pipe-fitters' union leader who is seeking to challenge Congressman Jim Kolbe. But we noticed his box seemed smaller than the previous announcements, and it was buried on the inside of the Metro section.
Still, candidates ought cherish this coverage, because, considering the Star's almost total abdication of genuine political coverage, it may be all they get until the results are counted--at which point the morning daily's editorial page will decry the lack of interest in politics.
ASSUME THE POSITION, STUD MUFFINS: We're told The Arizona Daily Star has gotten permission from the Pima County Attorney's Office to go on a fishing expedition for cyber goof-offs in county government. So all you bureaucrats with www.pussymeat.com, or whatever, bookmarked on your web browsers might want to punch it up in plain view just to keep the Star's crack reporters from fingering your keyboards. And a word to the unsophisticated computer users in public employ--there's something called a cache in your PC or Mac that you'll also want to tweak before these self-appointed Thought Police get to your desk.
Of course, the press has every right to look at how public property is being used--or abused. And there's a long tradition in American journalism of tailing public officials to see what porno joint they park their big, honking government cars near, and who they're screwing in what seedy motel during business hours. Yep, it's one of the true joys of reporting to bag one of the big boys boinking someone other than his spouse when his blubbery ass should be planted firmly behind his desk doing whatever pointless bureaucratic scutwork he's being paid enormous sums to fake.
But even we find it a bit much for the press to go prowling through someone's desktop PC, even if that someone is on the government payroll. Why not go through their desk drawers while you're at it--they're government-issue, too. And is anybody wearing a government-issued uniform now to be subject to impromptu journalistic pat-downs? Actually, that sounds kinda fun, in a kinky sorta way. Well-hung firemen to the right, please.
And don't you find it just a tad odd that a newspaper which has made a great deal of money providing internet access to this town would turn around and check on what some folks are doing out there in cyberspace? Sure, we're talking about taxpayer dollars and government-owned machines, but jeez, do you suppose the Star's next big project will involve telling the rest of us what sort of cyber sleaze we're all lapping up through StarNet?
Perhaps the daily newspapers should concentrate on real stories, for a change--like that breathtaking exposé the Star ran recently about the woman who parked her car in a private, restricted lot, only to find it had been towed away when she returned! Who could have imagined!!? Now that's the kind of ball-busting, important journalism we've come to expect from the daily press here. And the big color photo was damned riveting, too.

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