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Why We Jump When the Phone Rings 

It may sound like an old wives' tale, but it's true: Full moons bring out the wackjobs. The closer the full moon gets, the more insane phone calls and e-mails we get here at Weekly World Central. And with a full moon hitting on May 2, the last week was particularly insane. Here are a few things we learned from pre-full moon callers:

· A woman called and let Irene Messina have it because a particular restaurant is only listed once in our Chow Scan listings. Since this particular establishment serves dishes that could fit under two Chow Scan categories, it should be listed twice, she claimed. Irene informed her it does not work this way. The caller was unhappy about this fact.

· A Sept. 11 conspiracy theorist called and hollered at me for Tom Danehy's column last week. (OK, so this call wasn't unusual. I get yelled at for Danehy columns all the time. Never mind.)

· My favorite call of the week came from a man who babbled to my voicemail for at least 10 minutes about how every single president and presidential candidate in recent memory is illegitimate. He said something to the effect that George W. Bush's real mother is NOT Barbara Bush, and that Dubya was born in Canada, making him ineligible for the presidency. He claimed that the Kennedy family's been hidden in a secret bunker under the Pentagon since 1963. He also had some things to say about Hillary Clinton, John McCain and Rudy Giuliani, but by the time he started talking about them, I had basically zoned out.

In any case, we've survived another full moon, which means relative sanity should return, at least for several weeks. In the meantime, enjoy the summer movie preview.

More by Jimmy Boegle

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