Favorite

 

Rated PG-13 · 104 minutes · 2014
This is based on a tremendously popular book series aimed at tween girls, and that’s shameful, because nothing this bad should be aimed at anybody. The convoluted plot goes something like this: Zoey Deutch plays Rose, a Dhampir (half-human/vampire) who’s training to protect Lissa, a Moroi (prissy vampires who dabble in magic) at St. Vladimir’s Academy. They’re the outcasts of the school, and when they’re not being harassed by jealous vamp girls and horny bloodsucker boys, they’re trying to figure out the faculty’s secrets and battling Strigoi (mean vampires). Ninety percent of the dialogue is pure exposition, the special effects are laughable and somebody needs to check Deutch’s DNA against Ellen Page’s. Mix one part Harry Potter, two shots of Twilight, a pinch of Mean Girls and a heaping dose of Juno and, voila! You’ve got one messy cocktail of a movie on your hands.
Official Site: va-movie.com
Director: Mark Waters
Producer: Don Murphy, Susan Montford, Michael Preger, Deepak Nayar, Mark Waters, Daniel Waters, Stuart Ford, Jessica Tuchinsky, Bob Weinstein and Harvey Weinstein
Cast: Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry, Danila Kozlovsky, Gabriel Byrne, Sarah Hyland, Joely Richardson, Olga Kurylenko, Claire Foy, Cameron Monaghan, Dominic Sherwood, Sami Gayle and Ashley Charles

Trailer

Vampire Academy

Reviews/comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a review


Roll over stars and click to rate.

What others are saying (3)

The North Coast Journal Weekly Lego Blocked Monument stands tall, Vampire flunks by John J. Bennett 02/13/2014
Chicago Reader Vampire Academy: A bloody mess Undead teens clash in the young-adult romance Vampire Academy. by J.R. Jones 02/12/2014
The North Coast Journal Weekly Growing Boys Labor misses, Awkward aims low by John J. Bennett 02/06/2014

Now Showing

  1. Sat 3
  2. Sun 4
  3. Mon 5
  4. Tue 6
  5. Wed 7
  6. Thu 8
  7. Fri 9

    Find reviews & showtimes for all films in town.

© 2016 Tucson Weekly | 7225 Mona Lisa Rd. Ste. 125, Tucson AZ 85741 | (520) 797-4384 | Powered by Foundation