Thursday, May 16 (NBC)
Series Finale: Hang in there—the longest goodbye on television is almost over. Like most of you, The Only TV Column That Matters™ has stuck with The Office because, even though it's never recovered from the loss of Michael Scott it's still the funniest show on Thursday night without Parks or Recreation in its title. Even though the nine-years-in-the-making Dunder-Mifflin documentary has finally aired—what's the budget at the local PBS affiliate, anyway?—the "crew" is still filming what is tonight's final episode, which includes a wedding, wrap-up interviews and, in my opinion, not enough Erin (because there's never enough Ellie Kemper). Goodnight, Scranton!
Monday, May 20 (Sundance)
Season Finale: You should have been watching this, and not just because it's hyped as "from the producers of Breaking Bad." Rectify follows a week in the life of Daniel Holden (Aden Young), just released after serving 19 years in prison for rape and murder. DNA evidence got him out of the joint, though it's still unclear whether he committed the crime or not. Naturally, everyone in his small Georgia hometown has a divergent opinion—even those in his own family, including Abigail Spencer, who's heartbreakingly fantastic here as his big sis. Apropos for Sundance, Rectify moves dreamily and slowly and Daniel's guilt or innocence isn't the point of the story (there's a second season coming, so don't expect an answer yet). Think of it as a six-hour indie flick about one man's trouble readjusting to a world that doesn't want him, and catch up now.
The Goodwin Games
Monday, May 20 (Fox)
Series Debut: Three estranged siblings (Scott Foley, Becki Newton and Jake Lacy) stand to inherit $20 million from their recently passed father (Beau Bridges)—if they play an elaborate set of "games" he's left behind and learn Valuable Life Lessons to Become Better People. Mostly funny stuff, once you get past the idea of a math professor having $20 million and Newton even being the same species as Foley and Lacy, much less their sister. Oddly, The Goodwin Games will be paired up with Raising Hope reruns on Mondays—for those of you playing at home, Fox hasn't aired comedies on Monday since ... ever? Maybe don't get attached.
You Should Read a Book
Monday, May 20 (ABC)
Series Debut: Kristen Lehman (The Killing) and Louis Ferreira (Breaking Bad) star as detectives investigating murders-of-the-week. Wait, there's a twist: The killer is IDed at the beginning of the episode; Motive, as the name implies, is about (or aboot, since this is a Canadian production) why they did it. Yeah ... you totally just lost the Castle crowd, ABC.
Season Finales This Week
Thursday, May 16: The Office (NBC); Grey's Anatomy, Scandal (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, Elementary (CBS); American Idol (Fox); The Vampire Diaries, Beauty & the Beast (The CW)
Friday, May 17: Nikita (The CW); Shark Tank (ABC); Undercover Boss (CBS)
Saturday, May 18: Saturday Night Live (NBC); Doctor Who (BBC America)
Sunday, May 19: The Cleveland Show, The Simpsons, Family Guy (Fox); The Apprentice (NBC); Mr. Selfridge (PBS)
Monday, May 20: Rectify (Sundance); Bates Motel (A&E); Rules of Engagement, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-0 (CBS); The Big C (Showtime)
Tuesday, May 21: Grimm (NBC); Dancing With the Stars (ABC)
Wednesday, May 22: Criminal Minds (CBS); The Middle, Modern Family, Nashville (ABC); Law & Order: SVU, Chicago Fire (NBC); Swamp Wars (Animal Planet)
If you loved Twilight, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, Hemlock Grove and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you'll probably tolerate this supernatural tale of star-crossed teens and the scenery-chewing adults who vex them so. (Warner Bros.)
The Last Stand
An ex-LAPD-cop-turned-creaky-border-town-sheriff (Arnold Schwarzenegger) takes on a psychotic drug kingpin (Eduardo Noriega) in the violent showdown flick that has critics exclaiming "At least it's not Expendables 2!" (Lionsgate)
Love Sick Love
A non-committal businessman (Matthew Settle) is kidnapped by his unbalanced "girlfriend" and forced to spend the weekend with her equally-loony family in the country. Is it a romantic comedy or a horror movie? Yes—am I right, guys? (Monarch)
A screwed-over thief (Jason Statham) is out for payback against his crew, with a little help from a chardonnay-guzzling real-estate agent (Jennifer Lopez). Selling points: Gunplay, violence, half-naked J-Lo and Statham's "Texas" accent. (Sony)
True Blood: Season 5
Bill and Eric work for the Vampire Authority! Alcide quits the wolf pack! Jason puts the moves on Jessica! Sam chases shifter killers! Tara's dead and loving it! Sookie is still annoying alive! Lafayette don't care! Shirt shortage in Bon Temps! (HBO)
More New DVD Releases (May 21)
Apartment 4E, Dark Circles, Dark Frontier, Ecstasy, Jim Jeffries: Fully Functional, Last Kind Words, Once Upon a Time in Brooklyn, Perception: Season 1, Picture Day, The Rolling Stones: Crossfire Hurricane, Saving Hope: Season 1, Side Effects, Stand Up Guys, Teen Wolf: Season 2