The Legend of Hercules

Director Renny Harlin (Die Hard 2, Cliffhanger) used to be a fun director. He was like the poor man’s Tony Scott; his movies were always more like the Zipper at the carnival as opposed to Scott’s Cyclone roller-coaster. That was a long time ago. Now, with the release of the first Worst Picture of 2014, Harlin is like the Gravitron –– all spin and no payoff. He takes the Hercules legend, throws out anything of mythological substance, and instead inserts a tired and wooden love triangle. That, and a whole lot of sub-par Matrix-like special effects. Kellen Lutz (from the Twilight series) plays Hercules, but he really doesn’t do much besides groan and flex his oily pecs. If you’re into buying firefighter calendars, you’re going to love this movie. I can’t really blame Lutz though; the script is so bad I would grunt my way through it too.