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Francisco Tamayo has lived in Tucson since 1972. He's a regular at Bob Dobbs' Bar & Grill, 2501 E. Sixth St. A frequent honeree in the Weekly's Best of Tucson ® competition, Bob Dobbs' Bar & Grill is named for J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, the pipe-smoking object of worship of the Church of the Subgenius, which offers eternal salvation or triple-your-money back. The church's dogma, outlined in The Book of the Subgenius and Revelation X, essentially teaches that we are all born with original slack, which a conspiracy of normals is seeking to steal from us. Slack itself is notoriously elusive; the harder you work to have slack, the less of it you have. For more information on the Church of the Subgenius, visit subgenius.com. Tamayo, incidentally, has no known connection to the church--yet.

What's the best way to spend a summer day in Tucson?

At your house, taking care of your parents. I take care of them every weekend down in Nogales, Arizona.

How has Nogales changed over the years?

Not too much. Good.

What did you think about that poor guy who busted down in Nogales buying prescription drugs?

It's a bunch of bullshit both ways. I don't know why this thing happened. Everybody thought it was somebody getting busted at the American border. No, this guy supposedly bought a lot of drugs in Nogales, Sonora. He was caught by the Mexicans. So everybody on this side is not going over there, because they're afraid they're going to get caught.

How has Nogales, Sonora, changed over the years?

Not too much. It's the most beautiful city in the world.

It seems like the population is growing a lot.

It's where God was born.

What about the maquiladoras?

They're not doing too good. They started for a good reason, but I don't know what happened.

What's the best summer drink in Tucson?

The margarita is a bunch of baloney. I'd rather have a Coca-Cola with rum.

So how 'bout those Diamondbacks?

I hated to see Schilling go. I like the Padres. But I don't really follow sports.

What do you think of the new garbage fee in Tucson?

If it's done correctly, it's OK.

What about Tucson's transportation situation?

Hopefully, it's not going to get any better. I like the growing up. We need help. It's out of control a little bit, but not too bad.

Do you go to movies?

No. I don't go to movies. I do what movies are made out of.

Like what?

Everything else.

So what do you do for fun?

I make salsa--everything appropriate to different kinds of dishes.

What's your favorite bar?

Bob Dobbs. The bartenders are the best. They talk to you, they listen, so ...

What's the most fun you ever had in Tucson?

With my first girlfriend. I was 19, and she was 25.

What did you guys do for fun?

We read, exchanged poetry.

Where did you go to school?

Here at the UA. I studied education.

You work in education now?

No. Nobody wants to learn. It's incredible to say I hated it. Nobody wants to learn.

What kind of music do you like?

I like something that has violins and trumpets.

Do you like stuff that's in Spanish?

Spanish, mostly. But not necessarily mariachi. I don't like rap. I like good music. I'm not going to tell you the name of the guy I like. You should be able to pick him out.

Who are you voting for this November?

President Bush. I think he's doing what he can. He has had good stuff and bad stuff happen to him. He has to be agreeable to the world, and the world has to be agreeable to us, the American people.

What do you think of John Kerry's chances?

It's 40-60 against. I don't like chickenshit Democrats. That's all they are, you know.

What else is on people's minds these days?

People are not caring too much. They are getting to be very against the war in Iraq. I don't blame them too much, but they just don't know what's going on.

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