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Tsar

More often than not, committing to buying a rock album today is like settling on a girlfriend. You know there's probably a woman out there who's better-suited for you, but damn it, you don't have the time or energy necessary to find her. How else can one explain the success of mediocre bands like Jet (AC/DC mock-up), the Darkness (Boston imitation), Weezer (Cars rip-off) and Queens of the Stone Age (Sabbath impostor)?

Settle no more, all you lonely boys who crave the cock rock. Tsar is here to wipe your tears away by tearing you a new one. The band's second full-length, Band-Girls-Money, is a collection of 10 songs so pure in design that I promise there won't be any lingering regrets or doubts. The opening title track practically explodes. There's just a righteous anger that bleeds through the lyrics of every song ("I've got a lot of photographs / Of people I hate / And a mountain of trash / I can't give it away" from "Wanna Get Dead"), even as the sweet-toothed melodies chew their way into your subconscious mind. It's rare that a band this loud and nasty can be so damn catchy (Nirvana was one of the few acts to pull it off), and Tsar will easily draw the attention of metal, punk and pop fans--of anyone, really, who loves rock music performed by musicians rather than over-hyped posers.

If you're in the kind of mood in which it's "Everybody's Fault but Mine," Tsar will give you the jolt you need to get through the day--and maybe through your life.

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