Police Dispatch 

He Took. It. Out.

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West Calle Lago

Aug. 22, 10:10 a.m.

A man was literally unable to "keep it in his pants" during a morning stroll through an upper-class neighborhood—although he was fully clothed, he left his penis dangling out of his pants to be seen by numerous female passers-by, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

A deputy patrolling the foothills area was dispatched to a townhouse neighborhood near Oracle and Rudasill roads, where one woman had reported that a male in a white shirt and dark pants was waking along the major street purposefully exposing himself to women he passed.

The deputy quickly located the man and saw that his penis was indeed hanging out the fly of his pants. When he approached the man and asked what he was doing, the subject just said he "was looking for something."

The deputy decided to detain him; as the man was being handcuffed, at some point he apparently put his penis back in his pants.

But he didn't zip up his fly, and he wasn't wearing any underwear—as another deputy soon found out when he came on the scene as backup, with the unfortunate task of searching the subject. According to this second deputy's report, as he was emptying the man's pockets (finding a few dollar bills and some change), "his penis came out" yet again.

The woman who'd first reported the man's actions stated she'd seen him walking up and down the road in the quiet neighborhood with his genitals exposed, and at one point he'd turned toward her and "showed her his penis with his hand on it, pulling it out of his pants." She added that she'd confronted several other neighborhood women who asserted they'd also seen him—and his penis (though they hadn't wanted make formal complaints).

After being read his Miranda rights, the subject said he understood them, but he insisted "he did not do anything." Asked why his zipper was undone, he said he didn't know... but then tried to change his story, saying he'd planned to "take a piss." Finally, he gave in to his arresting officers with the statement, "Just take me to jail."

Deputies booked him for indecent exposure.

More by Anna Mirocha


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