Police Dispatch 

A Real Snot-Nosed Brat

Foothills Area

Jan. 16, 9:24 a.m.

A rebellious teenager vandalized his mother's bedroom and personal bathroom with mucus and eggshells when she deprived him of technological toys and entertainment, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Deputies were called to the youth's house, where his mother said he'd recently dropped out of school and now all he did was "sit around." To help him be more "responsible," she said, she'd taken away his Wii video game, and that morning she'd threatened to turn off his cable.

When she gave him her no-cable threat, she said—uttered while he was cooking eggs—he'd become very upset and threw an eggshell on the kitchen floor. Then he reportedly collected many eggshells and brought them all to her bedroom, where he dumped them on her bed—and then "blew snot" all around her bathroom.

Meanwhile, the mother stated, her son was calling her a "cunt," "psycho bitch" and "whore"; he also threatened to put a knife through their television screen. He allegedly asserted that if she called the cops, "they were going to have to kill him because he was not going to go with them." (He later said he would kill them.)

The mother said her son had been hanging around with the wrong people, saying, "He does not want to work, does not feel that he needs to work, and wants to know what (his parents) are going to leave him when they die."

By the time deputies arrived, the son had fled by car, so they had to find his vehicle and pull him over. At that point, he admitted he'd caused destruction in his mother's house and went cooperatively to jail—but only after ironically reporting an earlier snide statement by his mother: "I'm going to send you to jail so you can see how good you have it (at my house)."

No! Bad Man!

UA Area

Dec. 31, 12:28 p.m.

A University of Arizona co-ed was inappropriately touched by a foreign man pretending desire to touch her dog, according to a UA Police Department report.

The young woman told UA officers she was walking her canine companion near the Student Union when approached by a foreign man, who asked (in broken English) to pet her dog, to which she said no—the dog might bite—but he could "shake" its paw. Instead, the man shook the woman's hand—then kissed her cheek.

The woman said she presumed the whole thing was a misunderstanding—"a cultural thing"—however, the man was then so bold as to pat her buttocks. (Another thing one might do with a dog ... but still ...)

She allegedly sharply told the man, "No!" and left.

Officers located the man, but the reportee ultimately declined to press charges, still deciding that the incident was "of a cultural nature" and that contact with law enforcement would be enough to "educate him."

More by Anna Mirocha


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