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He Drinks Alone

Foothills Area

Nov. 24, 10:20 a.m.

Intense loneliness apparently compelled a man to cause a ruckus at a sports bar—yelling at, flipping off and waving a pretend gun at people whom he felt had snubbed him, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

Sheriff's deputies responded to a north-side Famous Sam's, where bartenders said a man had drunk two beers and two shots. They said that as he was sitting at the bar alone, he took it upon himself to make conversation—with himself—and one of the things he said was that "nobody ever seems to want to talk to him."

As he seemingly became more and more upset by this perception, his vocalizations became louder, till he was yelling—not at himself now, but at everyone around. One staff member reported he'd specifically yelled that the cook had scared him while emptying the garbage.

When asked to leave the bar for his belligerence, the man allegedly feigned choking himself, "began to scream at the top of his lungs," and then reached into his jacket pocket and thrust out his hand with his fingers pointed, as if he had a gun—which he "aimed" at those around him. Finally, staff said, while still screaming, he "proceeded to give the middle finger to everyone at the bar" (presumably with the hand not employed as a make-believe gun) and departed—right after paying for his drinks with a credit card.

Deputies easily identified the subject by running the name on his card, finding him living in a nearby trailer—but although they heard him watching television inside, he didn't answer the door. Since he'd paid his tab and the bar declined to press charges, they left the lonely man alone.

Cat-Clawed

UA Area

Nov. 22, 11:31 a.m.

A daring, creative local tagger tried to vandalize the University of Arizona Museum of Art, only to inadvertently—and no doubt painfully—add an illicit but provocative art installation to the museum's collection, according to a UA Police Department report.

A UA officer arrived at the museum one morning to see blood splattered all over its glass door and exterior pavement. Interspersed with the blood were numerous 2-inch-long shards of metal sticking out of the door and sidewalk, with the word "Catclaw" etched into each one of them ("Catclaw" likely being the subject's tagger name).

An assisting officer arrived to find more metal affixed to a window ledge, suggesting that "Catclaw" had attempted to climb onto the building's roof but had fallen—encountering his own metal shards, stuck into the door, as he did so (hence the blood).

The officers photographed the scene and collected the shards as evidence. They found no trail of blood, and nobody at the museum had seen or heard anyone at the building the night before—nor had anyone been seen walking around while bleeding profusely.

More by Anna Mirocha

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