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This week in trailer parks and hospital escapees

NUDITY AND "TONGUES"—BUT NOT IN A SEXY WAY

FOOTHILLS AREA AUG. 1, 1:57 A.M.

After years of coping quietly, a local trailer-park resident finally called law enforcement on a neighbor who routinely frolicked outside naked and did other odd things—such as possibly speaking in tongues—a Pima County Sheriff's Department report said.

The reportee told sheriff's deputies that the subject (apparently an adult male) had been living nearby with his mother for quite awhile, "causing trouble from almost the time he moved in, specifically with yelling and running around the exterior of his house naked." He said he was specifically concerned because this behavior might disturb the reportee's wife; besides, children lived in the trailer park.

It must've been the last straw when, according to the reportee, late that night he was awoken by yelling in his own backyard and went outside to find the subject, who yelled, "I'm going to kick your old ass!"

The man then reportedly began speaking in tongues. And this time, again, the subject was allegedly "completely naked, right down to his penis."

The reportee showed deputies a photo of the subject in his backyard that night "with his penis hanging out."

Both the subject's mother and the subject himself denied any trespassing, yelling or nakedness, asserting the subject had merely been in his own yard "talking" in his boxer shorts.

But deputies had enough evidence to arrest the man for disorderly conduct, threats and intimidation, and indecent exposure.

HOSPITAL FOOD ISN'T THAT BAD—IS IT?

SAN XAVIER BEAT

AUG. 9, 2:40 A.M.

A man pulled off a dramatic escape from the hospital only to go to a convenience store, where he acquired certain food items unlikely to help his health, according to a PCSD report.

An employee at a south-side Circle K told deputies that a 50-year-old man had come in obviously straight from a hospital, wearing what appeared to be paper scrubs—plus IV needles still stuck in his arm.

The employee said the man bought a Big Gulp drink, chips and popcorn—and then surreptitiously stole a package of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on his way out.

She said he then returned to the store repeatedly, as if planning to steal again: Each time he entered, he kept looking around, trying not to act suspicious (apparently unaware of his ostentatious appearance). He finally left after no ostensible success in further shoplifting.

Deputies located and spoke with the subject at the nearby University of Arizona Medical Center–South Campus. He said that once he'd checked into the hospital for an infection, he'd just gotten hungry, so he left to buy some (admittedly unhealthy) fare. He denied stealing.

Deputies confirmed he'd fled the hospital against doctors' orders. But since they found no evidence of Reese's on his person he was simply banned from the Circle K and then brought back under medical care.

More by Anna Mirocha

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