Police Dispatch 

WEARING NOTHING BUT A SHIRT AND A SCOWL

CATALINA BEAT

FEB. 4, 7:28 P.M.

A drunken woman dressed in nothing but a shirt was jailed after trashing her boyfriend's trailer and covering the floor with crunchy edibles, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The woman's boyfriend called deputies and told them she was "going crazy, throwing things all over the house."

When deputies arrived at the home, the boyfriend met them outside to warn them he was "pretty sure" she was not wearing pants.

Upon entering the trailer, deputies found that an enormous container of dried cat food had been dumped directly inside the doorway. When the girlfriend appeared, the only thing she wore besides the shirt was a mean look on her face. When told to put on some pants, she complied, but skipped putting on underwear.

Deputies also discovered a bag of rolling tobacco scattered on the floor, a flipped-over coffee table, a blender that had been tossed to the floor, a wooden strip torn from a wall, an office chair with an arm missing crammed sideways into a bathroom, and a box of Corn Pops cereal whose contents had been tossed about in another room.

"As we were walking through the house," one deputy noted, "there was a definitive crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch every time we took a step."

When questioned, the girlfriend became "very snappy" and was belligerent while being handcuffed and placed in a patrol car, the report said. En route to jail, the subject escaped her handcuffs and started pounding on the patrol car's Plexiglas divider.

Deputies said they recognized the pair from previous encounters, and that they were known for frequently being drunk.

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