SHOWING 'EM HOW IT'S DONE?
FOOTHILLS AREADEC. 10, 5:40 P.M.
An alcohol-impaired man peed like a dog on the side of a veterinarian's clinic (and in front of some of the vet's canine clients), according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
A witness told a deputy that the man exposed his penis to numerous clinic customers and their pets while relieving himself. The veterinarian said she hadn't seen the man urinate but that one of her employees had done a "double take" at the sight.
There was a big puddle near the side of the clinic where witnesses said the man peed. The vet said the man refused to leave the premises until just before law enforcement arrived.
The deputy caught up with the alleged urinator at a nearby Circle K, at which point the deputy recognized him from previous contact.
The deputy said that while handcuffing the man he was overwhelmed by the man's body odor as well as a powerful scent of booze. The man displayed typical signs of extreme intoxication—bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and difficulty moving.
The man said he'd had "a couple beers" and admitted that he had peed on the side of the clinic "just a little."
He was booked into jail on suspicion of indecent exposure.
BEATS BRATS, RATS ON SELF
SAN XAVIER BEATDEC. 27, 1 A.M.
A man called the cops on himself after allegedly inviting acquaintances to his trailer to drink, and then—when he was thoroughly drunk—beating them with a baseball bat, a PCSD report.
A deputy went to the man's trailer and found him stumbling around the property, apparently wasted.
Although he had been the one to call law enforcement, the man was uncooperative. He finally told the deputy that he'd asked "a couple of guys" from a nearby trailer park over for beers, but they were bratty and got "mouthy" with him, so he beat them with a baseball bat until they left.
The man said he'd also been attacked by the men. But he refused hospitalization, and also refused to name the men or to point out their residence. It was unclear why he had called law enforcement at all.
The deputy documented the incident and left the man at his trailer.