Police Dispatch 



JUNE 29, 3:56 P.M.

A near-naked man who ranted about God and Satan between making bird calls evacuated his bowels in the parking lot of a feed store, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Deputies received a call from Rawhide Feed & Supply, 3302 E. Edwin Road, that a man wearing only underpants and apparently on some heavy drugs was "off his rocker" and jumping in and out of cars in the parking lot and scaring customers.

Deputies found the man sitting on a pallet of birdseed near the store's entrance. He wore only blue-checked boxer shorts and was twitching and rocking back and forth rapidly.

Between bursts of nonsensical comments about God and the devil, angels, birds and children, he made bird sounds, which the report described as "hoo-ing" and "cooing."

A woman said the man had jumped into the back of her pickup truck as she entered the store parking lot and then tried to get in the cab, which she had locked. He also attempted to get into several other vehicles before store patrons and employees gave him water and persuaded him to sit down. Following one of his outbursts, deputies handcuffed the man, who eventually mentioned taking "glass" and "bath salts."

The man also was coated with mud in spots, and had several scratches, apparently from falling while running through the desert in 110-degree heat. "He actually had a breaded appearance to him, with the dirt he had on him stuck to his sweat," a deputy reported.

The man was transported to Oro Valley Hospital, where nurses cleaned him up.

That turned out to be a "laborious task," a deputy wrote, because the man had defecated on himself and it was leaking through his boxers "and getting all over everything he touched." That included the pallet he had been sitting on, which was covered with "long brown streaks and puddles."

Another deputy said that during initial contact with the man, he muttered, "I killed my granddad." Deputies interviewed his grandfather (with whom the subject apparently lived). The grandfather said the man had been acting "very strange and unpredictable for the last three days" and had recently thrown a rock through someone's window and had run through a stranger's house.

The man was arrested for disturbing the peace as well as criminal damage because he'd pooped on $83 worth of birdseed.

More by Anna Mirocha


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