WEDDING CRASHERS, DASHERS AND FACE BASHERS
MAY 11, 11:46 P.M.
A modest wedding reception became a massive but momentary brawl about music that someone associated with Caucasians, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
Sheriff's deputies went to a wedding party at a house where the bride said that she, the groom and a small party of guests had been dancing in celebration of her recent nuptials when three apparently Latino males arrived, drunk (and still drinking). She said they immediately began starting fights with all her guests.
However, the groom said, at times the men stopped fighting and acted like they belonged at the party, and danced with the guests. One of the men (a "bald guy") was apparently so into the dancing that he changed the music being played, deeming it "white music" and particularly upsetting one of the bridesmaids. Fighting ensued once more, this time ostensibly about the music.
The bride said the male declared, "This is my 'hood. Who are you to tell me what to do in my town?"
The man then punched the bride twice in the cheek, she said. When she asked why he was there he allegedly replied, "I will fucking whip your ass," then allegedly also double-punched the groom in the cheek.
According to the report, the entire wedding reception then inexplicably turned into a "huge fight." Several guests, as well as the bride, exhibited bloody wounds. Some were hospitalized.
But suddenly, the bride said, all violence abruptly halted and the three men were gone.
The bride identified the intruders as her stepbrothers, whom she barely knew and whom definitely hadn't been invited to the party.
APRIL 12, 11:10 P.M.
An intoxicated man on the streets hopped up and down in front of a deputy and then became hoity-toity with him when arrested, a PCSD report said.
A sheriff's deputy was called regarding a male on the corner screaming at passers-by.
The deputy found the man on foot carrying cola and whiskey; while being interviewed, he sometimes spoke softly and sometimes yelled. He admitted to drinking.
Once the deputy began reading the subject his Miranda rights for being drunk in public, the man suddenly punched the officer's patrol car and began bizarrely jumping up and down in place.
He kept saying, "I know, I know," in response to being read his rights, but when asked if he understood them, he said he "did not understand any of it."
While being transported to jail, he repeatedly insulted the deputy and insisted the reason for his arrest was that he made more money than policemen.