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SHOULD'VE SPLIT

SAN XAVIER AREA

JAN. 26, 4:31 A.M.

A drunken man decided to perform a gymnastics routine in a stranger's yard in the predawn hours, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Deputies responded to a call from a woman who said she had awakened by a man "being very loud outside." She told deputies that when she looked out her window, she could see the man "just being weird . . . attempting to do the splits on the ground, and various things of that nature."

The woman said the man then sat on her front porch for a while before knocking loudly on the front door, pounding it so hard that the door shook. The woman said "she did not wish to be woken up in that manner," adding that the man had also been running back and forth across her front yard.

Deputies said they found the man still outside the woman's house and obviously drunk. He told them he had mistaken the woman's house for a friend's place.

The man was arrested on suspicion of disturbing the peace.


SHADOWY SEX

UA AREA

JAN. 24, 9:44 P.M.

A couple denied having sex in a bathroom stall even though they were observed during the act, a University of Arizona Police Department report said.

A UA police aide patrolling campus noticed some odd shadows through a frosted window on the ground floor of the Center for English as a Second Language, 1100 E. James E. Rogers Way. According to the aide, it looked as if two people were engaging in intercourse. When a police officer responded to the scene, he saw what appeared to be the shadow of a man pulling up his pants.

Once inside the building, the officer saw that the light was on in the first-floor men's restroom. After knocking on the door, he heard a male voice say that he was "just finishing up."

The man initially said he was the only occupant of the restroom, but when the officer entered the restroom, a woman emerged from the handicapped stall. The woman, he reported, "emitted an odor of intoxicants." She explained the situation by saying she'd felt scared going into the restroom alone so her boyfriend went into the men's room with her.

The boyfriend, on the other hand, said he'd taken her into the men's room because she had been feeling sick.

Both subjects denied having sex in the stall. The female said her boyfriend never had his pants off and they'd only kissed. The male was uncooperative and "gave attitude," the report said. The couple were cited and released.

More by Anna Mirocha

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