TO JAIL FOR A MEAL
WEST VALENCIA ROAD, AUG. 6, 11:03 P.M.
A man apparently damaged phone booths just for the opportunity to eat jail food, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
Dispatch got a call regarding someone outside of a Circle K damaging pay-phone booths. Deputies found the subject walking away from the phone-booth area; as soon as they approached him, he put his hands behind his back as if asking to be handcuffed. Deputies noticed he smelled like intoxicants.
The store clerk said he'd noticed the male near the phones, one of which was broken. The clerk watched as the subject started beating the other phone receiver against top of the phone booth.
The subject was placed in the back of a patrol car. When asked why he'd broken the phones, he twice denied the action. He then asked if there was breakfast in jail, and if there would be sandwiches. The reporting deputy admitted he would probably be fed in jail.
When asked to tell the truth about damaging the phones, the subject chuckled and finally admitted he wanted some food, saying that "it would be good to spend the night in jail" and mentioning "free room and board."
When asked if he'd broken the phones just so he could spend a night in jail and get food, he said something to the effect of, "All I want is something to eat, and that's all I'm saying."
He was arrested.
DISTURBING THE PEACE (WITH LOVE)
WEST AMY DRIVE, AUG. 3, 1:23 A.M.
A drunk man almost escaped incarceration—but he was arrested for being too loud, a PCSD report stated.
Deputies responded to a call about an intoxicated roommate threatening assault. They encountered the subject in the street near the caller's residence, staggering and reeking of alcohol. The subject said the roommate had told him to "turn the fucking music down and shut the fuck up"; the subject said he replied that his roommate should not talk to him that way. The subject reportedly repeated this story to a deputy about five times.
After deputies spoke to the owner of the home in which both the caller and the subject lived, they decided that if everyone would just go inside and go to their rooms, law enforcement would leave.
However, the subject then said, "I just want to say something," and promptly started yelling, "I love that guy! I love that guy!" over and over. He was told to be quiet, but he wouldn't stop.
The subject was arrested because he was "disturbing the peace of the entire neighborhood."