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SELF-DEFEATING IDEA

SOUTH COUNTRY CLUB ROAD, JULY 6, 5:34 A.M.

A man prepared himself for detox by getting wasted, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report said.

Deputies were called about a loiterer who wouldn't leave a Quik Mart. They located the subject outside of the store, where he was harassing customers. The man, in his 40s, was holding a can of beer behind his back. He was apparently intoxicated.

When asked where he lived, he said it didn't matter; when asked if he was begging customers for money, he said no— and that, in fact, he was giving money to people. When asked what he was doing, he said he was "getting drunk so he could go to the detox center right down the street."

One deputy then asked why he was drinking if he was trying to detox, as "that sounded kind of self-defeating." The subject replied, "You have to be intoxicated before they let you in."

The man was arrested on several charges, including being drunk in public.


UNDAMAGED GOODS

NORTH FLOWING WELLS ROAD, JULY 8, 2 P.M.

A man went to great lengths in a failed attempt to receive a free beverage, a PCSD report stated.

Deputies reported to a Quik Mart, where they found the subject sitting on the ground. He said a Pepsi truck had been unloading soda, and he'd requested a free Mountain Dew from the driver, who refused to give him one, explaining that the product was inventoried. The driver reportedly said he couldn't give soda away unless it was damaged.

The subject then went away for a while; when he returned, he got on his mountain bike and began circling the Pepsi truck, its driver and a stack of sodas.

The driver said the subject then looked straight at him and rode his bike directly into the large stack of soda bottles, knocking them everywhere. After the man fell off his bicycle, the driver said, he got up and again demanded free soda. He was again rebuffed—since not one of the sodas had reportedly been damaged.

The truck driver told deputies the subject was very aggressive toward him after being refused the second time, even asking him to fight.

The subject defended himself by saying the driver had been "a real dick to him." At one point, the subject admitted riding his bike into the driver and his product. At another point, he said it was an accident and that the driver almost ran him over.

The subject later called the deputy "a dick" for arresting him over such a minor issue.

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