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HOME SWEET WALMART

WEST VALENCIA ROAD

FEB. 8, 2:48 P.M.

A man was jailed after both eating and defecating in a grocery-store bathroom, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Security at Walmart Neighborhood Market, 2823 W. Valencia Road, reported that a male, apparently drunk or high, had eaten stolen food in the bathroom.

The subject told a deputy that he'd gone to the Walmart both because he was hungry and he needed to empty his bowels. He admitted ordering one rotisserie chicken, one potato-macaroni salad, one potato salad, one mustard salad and one order of beans from the deli, before putting them in a basket. He said he then went to the bathroom to "take a crap"—at which time he decided to eat all of the food. He'd simply forgotten to pay for it, he insisted.

He said that earlier, he'd ingested at least two tall cans of Bud Light and four to six Valium pills. When a records check revealed a warrant out for his arrest, he said it was "a stupid warrant anyway."

The reporting security guard said he saw the subject enter the main restroom area and begin eating the food, often retrieving something from the floor to eat it after he'd dropped it. The subject then allegedly took the remaining food into a stall, where he presumably finished it off. The subject was reportedly in the restroom for 20 to 40 minutes.

After being taken to jail, the deputy said, the subject became verbally aggressive, declaring that he "knew people" and that if he saw the deputy on the street, he would "kick (his) ass" because he wasn't a "real cop."


JUST SAY NO

UA AREA

FEB. 24, 3:38 P.M.

A University of Arizona student acquired a persistent stalker, a UA Police Department report stated.

The victim told officers she'd met a man on the mall about two weeks before and had given him her number because it was "hard for her to say no to people." She'd spoken with him a couple of times, she said, but he'd made her increasingly uncomfortable, especially after he started waiting outside of a classroom and following her.

Four days ago, she said, she'd told him not to contact her; after that, he called five more times, but she didn't answer. He then confronted her after class, and she told him she had a boyfriend. "That's pretty disappointing," he said. However, he allegedly continued to follow her.

After the subject told a UA officer that he "liked this girl," the officer said that, unfortunately, she didn't like him back; he needed a legitimate reason to be on the UA campus, and "bothering females didn't qualify."

More by Anna Mirocha

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