You've got the wrong guy; Smoke break

Police Dispatch 

YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG GUY

WEST RUTHRAUFF ROAD

NOV. 3, 4:09 P.M.

A man’s clothes-shunning alternate personality got him in trouble, according to a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report.

Deputies drove to Ruthrauff and Romero roads in response to a call about a naked male in the street. They came across three clothed males.

Seeing the deputies, one of the men stated, “This is Code Four; I’ve got him.” Asked what that meant, the man said not to worry about “the male,” because he “had him.”

This man said that one of his companions, now clothed, had indeed been running nude in the street, but the speaker had caught him and dressed him. His recently nude companion, he said, had multiple personalities and had just slipped into an alternate personality.

Asked why he had been unclothed, the recently nude male confusedly looked at his pants and shirt and insisted he was wearing clothing. Soon after, he became irate, threatening the arresting deputy and screaming, “Help!” at passers-by, continuing, “This punk motherfucker is trying to kill me!”

The woman who had originally reported the nude man said she and her 16-year-old daughter had been “offended” by seeing the man running nude along the median.

The subject was arrested for indecent exposure. In the patrol vehicle, he apparently reverted to another personality, saying he was sorry for the way he had acted and was glad to be going to jail.


SMOKE BREAK

NORTH CAMINO DE LA CODORNIZ

NOV. 8, 2:22 P.M.

A woman did significant damage to her husband’s vehicle just to get a cigarette—which she apparently never got to smoke, according to a PCSD report.

Deputies arrived at the woman’s house. While her husband was at work, the report said, she “needed” a cigarette and saw a pack inside her husband’s truck (still on the property). She told deputies that she called her husband repeatedly, but he wouldn’t answer his phone—so she smashed a window of his truck with a large rock to get to the cigarettes. The husband apparently arrived home shortly thereafter and called law enforcement.

Deputies saw that the rear passenger’s-side window of the truck was completely shattered; someone had evidently first tried to break a driver’s-side window but was unsuccessful.

After admitting to the crime, the woman was arrested. En route to jail, she was told she wasn’t allowed to bring contraband items like cigarettes or lighters, so if she had any, she’d have to give them up. She matter-of-factly said she didn’t have a cigarette, but she really wanted one—and that’s why she’d broken the window in the first place.

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