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NOT OK

CAMINO DE LAS GRUTAS

OCT. 5, 11:51 A.M.

A masturbating man allegedly invited neighbors to watch, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

Deputies met with a woman who said she had been washing dishes and gazing out the window when she saw her next-door neighbor in his house, upstairs, with the blinds open. He was completely unclothed and definitely masturbating, she said.

The previous day, there had allegedly been a white piece of paper posted in his window that said, "It's OK to look."

The neighbor denied exposing himself and making the sign.


CRANKY PANKY

SOUTH CARDINAL AVENUE

OCT. 4, 7:05 A.M.

A man apparently built a special meth-smoking shed so that he could get some "alone time" with his wife, according to a PCSD report.

Dispatch received a call that people were smoking methamphetamine in a shed on the far east side of a Tucson trailer park. A deputy met with the owner of the trailer where the incident reportedly occurred and asked him where his shed was. The man pointed to a makeshift addition to his trailer—made out of large sheets of tin, with a hanging bed sheet for a door. Questioned about the purpose of this "shed," the owner said he and his wife used it to "get away from the kids."

Inside were a makeshift table, several tools, a laptop computer and a small baggie containing a crystal-like substance. Asked about the substance, the subject said, "It's what you think it is." The subject was arrested for drug possession.


FECAL MATTERS

WEST LOS REALES ROAD

OCT. 5, 7:49 A.M.

A man threatened to take matters into his own hands after someone allegedly left feces on his property, a PCSD report stated.

Deputies were told that ever since a Sun Tran bus stop had been erected near his house last year, bus riders had badly mistreated his property—including littering, killing plants, and vandalizing the sidewalk and a "no trespassing" sign. Deputies found evidence—namely, a bush that reeked of urine and was surrounded by trash, including an old bus pass.

Early that morning, he'd found a plastic bag in front of his garage full of human feces and used toilet paper. "That is not even human," he said, referring to the act of leaving such a bag. The man said he would have to "take matters into his own hands," saying, "God help the next person (he finds on his) property leaving feces." Deputies advised him not to beat anybody up, but to again contact authorities if another incident occurred.

More by Anna Mirocha

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