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A VIOLENT WINDOW

NORTH FLOWING WELLS ROAD

AUG. 23, 2:35 A.M.

A delusional husband cut his hand on a window and claimed his wife had attacked him, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Dispatch received a call from a heavy-breathing, word-slurring male, who said his wife had just "sliced him." A woman came on the line and said her husband was not hurt, just intoxicated, and that he was lying on the floor because he was "a good faker," and a deputy response was unnecessary.

When deputies arrived, they saw a small laceration on the man's hand; his wife said she'd just realized that he was actually hurt. She said he had pounded on the front door late that night, very drunk and demanding to be let in, even though he had a key. The wife reportedly let him in and went back to bed, but was woken up by him yelling, "She cut me! She cut me!"

The man had apparently broken the window in the front door and thought his wife had cut his hand with a weapon.

Recently, the wife said, her husband had been angry with her for getting "a little too friendly" with another man in the trailer park; he threatened to go after them both with a baseball bat, after which the wife told her husband she would leave him.

Though the husband's cut was minor, he was taken to the hospital due to his extreme intoxication and the discovery of an empty pill bottle.

He was very violent during transportation and mistook the hospital for jail. Eventually, he started to cry and said he was just upset because he loved his wife so much.


MINOR MELODRAMA

UA AREA

AUG. 29, 2:38 A.M.

An alleged underage drinker became devastated upon being busted, a University of Arizona Police Department report stated.

A UA officer pulled over a truck for failing to have its headlights on; the driver pulled over crookedly and hit the curb. The 20-year-old female smelled strongly of intoxicants; when asked to exit the vehicle, she could not walk well. However, she denied ingesting alcohol.

When told that she would be cited for underage drinking, she became irate and started to scream that "her life was over" and that it would be the officer's fault if she killed herself. She then asked the officer several times if he would shoot her in the head. When he refused, she made a fist and vowed to make him shoot her by punching him.

She kept screaming about wishing she were dead while being placed in handcuffs. She was taken to University Medical Center for psychiatric evaluation and was cited for being a minor in possession.

More by Anna Mirocha

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