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THE CLASH OF THE JUSTINS

West Lessing Lane

July 26, 5:12 p.m.

Two men got in a serious fight over having the same name, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

A sheriff's deputy responded to a northwest-side house, where the reportee said he had recently hosted a small birthday party for a friend. Some young men showed up and seemed "a bit rowdy," he said, and one of the men (named Justin) mentioned just getting out of jail.

Around 2 a.m., another individual arrived and was introduced to everyone as Justin. The first Justin became enraged because "there should only be one Justin at the party."

The Justins started a fight, which soon involved several individuals, one of whom reportedly punched a hole in his stucco wall. The reportee wanted the incident documented for his records.


PHANTOM CASH BETTER THAN NONE

East Rudasill Road

July 27, 11:48 a.m.

A woman left her purse with a stranger, took a nap, then reported $3,000 stolen, a PCSD report stated.

Upon meeting with law enforcement, the victim said that earlier that night, she had been woken up from a short nap by her live-in landscaper (a recent Craigslist hire) talking on a phone, after which he disappeared from her residence. She soon discovered some cash missing from her purse—$3,000, actually. She said she "just likes to have the money in her purse so she can have it available."

She made decreasing sense from that point, going on about once when her car broke down on Mount Lemmon and a tow-truck driver had told her she was "the Sheriff's girl."

Responding to the reporting deputy's questions, the woman stated she had no psychological issues and was sure there really had been $3,000 in her purse.


THAT GUY FROM MASTURBATION CALLED

North Camino Arturo

July 22, 3 a.m.

A female doctor received a very odd, one-word obscene phone call, according to a PCSD report.

The woman told sheriff's deputies she had received a call on her home phone at 2:50 a.m. The caller, a male, had stated her husband's nickname. Then he simply said "masturbation." Asked where he was calling from, the caller would only again say "masturbation."

She said the sole clue about the caller's identity was that he had uttered a nickname only used for her husband at the University Medical Center, where they both worked as physicians.

She was told to notify law enforcement about any further incidents.

More by Anna Mirocha

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