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WRONG HOUSE

WEST DESERT DAWN TRAIL

JUNE 20, 11:40 A.M.

A drunk man harassed neighbors over imagined name-calling, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

A Tucson man told deputies he was visiting a friend's residence when an apparently intoxicated male, standing in her driveway, yelled (without provocation), "Are you calling me a homo?"

Later, the same male rang the doorbell, demanding contact with the person who called him a "homo." Saying there was no such person, the reportee closed the door, only to have the male ring the doorbell and demand contact with the fictitious name-caller 10 to 15 more times. Each time, the reportee said, he told him to leave.

The reportee's friend knew the man as her next-door neighbor.

Deputies found the offending man lying with his eyes closed in the reportee's friend's driveway; upon prodding, he groggily said, "What do you want, boy?" He said he was perfectly fine and told deputies to "get out of here," declaring that he was at his own residence and was not breaking any law.

After deputies repeatedly pointed out that the man's house was, in fact, next door, he said, "Oh, crap, that's my house over there," and tried to walk unsteadily away.

He was cited for criminal trespassing.


AT LEAST HE WORE A SHEET

NORTH CAMINO DE LA TIERRA

JUNE 16, 4:47 A.M.

A mostly unclothed man claimed he was attacked, a PCSD report stated.

Two northwest-side residents told deputies that a filthy, scraped-up, matted-haired man—naked except for a soiled sheet tied around his waist—had been pounding on their door.

Upon meeting with deputies, the man gave a detailed story about being assaulted by three people with a pipe and a "stun gun." However, his story changed dramatically as he told it; also, his injuries appeared to be caused by falling down and running nude through thorny vegetation, rather than an attack.

When deputies interviewed the owner of the trailer where the subject had allegedly been attacked, she said she knew of no such incident. In fact, she said, the subject was renting a room, but that day, he became "tweaked out" and poured spaghetti all over her clothing in the bathroom; he also ripped up the floor and walls of his room. (She had said he could do what he liked with the room—but she had been thinking more of painting or decorating.)

She said the subject "took off" when she asked him to leave; other residents reported him "going crazy" and running around in a sheet.

In light of an earlier report of a mostly nude man running around and destroying things with a pipe, deputies arrested the subject.

More by Anna Mirocha

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