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REDNECK FOR LIFE

WEST ORANGE GROVE ROAD

FEB. 24, 6:44 P.M.

A boy's bike was stolen by a self-labeled redneck, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

A witness reported that he saw the boy leave his bike outside of a Circle K while he went inside. A Caucasian male "kind of sneaking around" then got on the bike and rode away. The male's distinguishing characteristic was a large black tattoo on the back of his neck reading "REDNECK."

A short time later, the witness said, he saw the man with the REDNECK tattoo re-enter the Circle K parking lot without the bike and get into a blue sedan with three other people; the witness followed the car in his own vehicle and watched it stop by the side of the road, where the tattooed man picked up the bike he had stolen and put it in the sedan's trunk. After a while, the witness said, the sedan's occupants realized they were being followed and stopped again; the REDNECK-tattooed subject then removed the bike from the trunk and left it on the ground, pointing at it as if to say, "There is the bike; now leave us alone."

The witness stayed with the bike until the boy and his mother arrived. The boy was very upset and crying.

Despite finding and questioning the blue sedan's owner, deputies could not locate the man with the REDNECK tattoo.


FIGHTING UNDER THE INFLUENCE

UA AREA

MARCH 7, 12:08 A.M.

A couple who apparently wanted to finish their beers after a party ended up wasting them anyway during an alleged assault on security guards, according to a UA Police Department report.

UA officers responded to a fight at the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity house, 1011 N. Tyndall Ave., where they met two security men who had been hired for a party. One had blood coming out of his mouth and covering his T-shirt.

One of the guards said his colleague stopped a young man leaving the party with an open beer can. The attendee allegedly became very angry about having to give up his beer, so he used it to "squirt" the guard, starting a scuffle.

The reporting guard allegedly came to his colleague's aid, and a woman accompanying the assailant—also seemingly irate at the prospect of having beer taken away—used her own three-quarters-full beer can to punch the reportee in the face, before kicking him hard in the genitals and socking him in the back of the head. Finally, she hit him over the head with a nearby plastic folding chair. Both subjects then fled southbound (and beerless).

The subjects were not apprehended; the security guards did not want to press charges.

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