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ON A ROLL

EAST BENSON HIGHWAY

OCT. 10, 2:41 A.M.

A drunk man rolled around in the road for no apparent reason, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Responding to a "man down" call, a deputy made contact with a witness on East Benson Highway, where a male subject had reportedly been rolling around on the frontage road and yelling obscenities.

The witness said he had been sleeping in his truck nearby when he heard a lot of yelling and saw the subject arguing with two females near a vehicle. The subject slapped one of the females with his baseball hat and jumped up and down many times before the females got into the vehicle and started to drive away. The subject then apparently tried, unsuccessfully, to jump into the vehicle. He left his shoes and hat on one side of the frontage road and rolled to the other side, yelling the whole time.

Deputies made contact with the shoeless, hatless man, who was apparently extremely intoxicated and was "not making any sense with his words." He had some redness on his back from rolling around in the road. Taken to the hospital to make sure he had no serious injuries, the subject was belligerent the whole time. For 30 to 40 minutes, he reportedly flailed his arms and legs and screamed, "Fuck you!" and, "I love you, Mom!" over and over to nobody in particular.

The subject was medicated and brought under control. It later became apparent that he'd consumed numerous tequila shots and beers and was an apparent methamphetamine addict.


WHAT'S MY AGE?

UA AREA

OCT. 10, 9:30 P.M.

An underage girl was so drunk that she couldn't properly lie about her age, a University of Arizona Police Department report stated.

An officer observed a female in a First Street parking garage asleep between the wall of the garage and a vehicle. He could smell alcohol and asked if she had been drinking. She said she'd had three shots of alcohol.

Asked how old she was, she replied, "Legal drinking age"—but when asked to be specific, she said she was 18. The officer informed her that 18 was not, in fact, the legal drinking age, to which she replied, "OK, then I'm 22." She swayed back and forth substantially.

She then gave a birth date of Sept. 20 of '08. When told she did not look 101, she said she was born on Sept. 20, 1998. When told she did not look 11, either, she said her birthday was Oct. 2, 1988.

After a records check showed that to be false, she admitted she was 19 and said she "thought she could lie herself out of a ticket."

More by Anna Mirocha

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