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A WAY WITH A WORD

WEST RUTHRAUFF ROAD

MAY 16, 1:48 A.M.

A drunk female with a limited vocabulary caused trouble at a northwest-side bar, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

A female bartender at Famous Sam's, 2840 W. Ruthrauff Road, said the subject ordered a Long Island iced tea and then headed toward the pool tables, where she promptly began yelling "fuck" very loudly at every customer she met. When the bartender asked her to calm down, she started yelling "fuck" at her, too. At one point, the bartender said, the subject was "getting in her face" so much that the subject was kneeling on a barstool and almost coming over the top of the bar to attack the bartender.

When a waitress asked the subject to leave, the subject started "cursing her out," the report noted. Both the bartender and the waitress said the bar had been "at peace, and everybody was friendly and happy" before the subject entered.

When the subject was arrested, she became hysterical and wouldn't stop using profanity, especially the word "fuck." She explained that the reason she was upset was that everyone in the bar was being rude to her—they were just "mean, angry people." She said this was the third bar she had been kicked out of that night. She had extremely bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and difficulty standing.

She began rambling about everything that was wrong in her life, including how mean her brother was and the fact that she had "a perfect Christian husband." She then talked about her 2-year-old child, who had recently used the word "fuck" for the first time. She said she thought people should say "fuck" more often, as it could be used in several different ways in all kinds of different sentences. "Fuck" was a "multi-use word," she said.

She then proceeded to call an assisting female deputy a "fucking bitch" who allegedly thought she was perfect just because she had a "fucking badge."


THAT'S HOT

WEST DAVITI LANE

MAY 17, 10:58 P.M.

A couple received annoying sexual phone calls from someone who implied that the wife shared canine characteristics, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The reportee stated that he had been receiving strange phone calls from a blocked number. When the reportee answered the phone, multiple individuals would make sexual noises; when his wife answered it, the callers asked her if she was having sex or if she was "in heat." The reportee said he had no idea who was calling him, but it was starting to bother him.

The reporting deputy advised the couple to change their phone number.

More by Anna Mirocha

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