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WANDERLOST

EAST SPEEDWAY BOULEVARD

MARCH 25, 12:22 P.M.

An out-of-town woman engaged in hotel-hopping without possessions or money, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The front-desk manager at the Tanque Verde Guest Ranch, 14301 E. Speedway Blvd., told deputies a woman staying there was wandering around barefoot in emotional distress, wearing only a T-shirt and flannel lounge pants. Staff had returned her to her room four times, but she continued to emerge. She had been wandering around since at least 5:30 a.m.

The manager reported that the subject said the airlines had lost her luggage, and the check she had written for her room did not clear. The manager also found out that the subject had spent one night at the Embassy Suites and then had moved on to the Windmill Inn before arriving at the guest ranch. Her total debt was $517.54.

When confronted, the subject said all she wanted was to "spend some time alone." She could not articulate a reason for her state or for wandering into areas where other guests were staying. Instead, she described events from weeks, months and even years earlier involving her bipolar sister in New Jersey and her sister's boyfriend, a chef who "worked odd hours."

She admitted she had taken a few pills because she had not slept for six days. In her room, deputies found a half-gone bottle of Oxycontin and two empty wine bottles.

The subject was transported to the Southern Arizona Mental Health Center.

AT LEAST HIS STORY WAS LAME

NORTH CAMINO DEL SAUCE

MARCH 26, 4:06 P.M.

A young man angry at his friend allegedly used a crutch in an attempted beating after an interesting text-message exchange, a PSCD report said.

A deputy met with the reportee, who said he had gone to the house of his "now ex-friend" after receiving a text message that the friend was going to run him over with his car. When he arrived, he found the subject wildly wielding a crutch, which he used to hit the reportee in the back.

The accused crutch-wielder, however, denied swinging the crutch, insisting that he was "just shit-talking" and had simply been holding the crutch at his side. Maybe it hit the reportee during the ensuing scuffle, he said.

Apparently, the subject had text-messaged the reportee with gruesome messages such as, "I can hear your bones cracking under my car right now"—to which the reportee had replied, "Cool," before going to the subject's house.

When deputies spoke with the young men's respective parents, they simply said their sons were stupid and would handle punishment.

More by Anna Mirocha

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