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Not Bosom Buddies

West Kessler Place, Oct. 16, 1:17 p.m.

An older woman who disliked her neighbor allegedly exposed herself to him when her insults got no response, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The neighbor reported that he'd been working in his backyard when the woman, who lived across the alley, entered her own backyard in a bathing suit and inexplicably began calling him names, chanting, "Come on, yellow belly," "Come on, coward," and "You're such a liar." As the man tried to continue his yard work, the woman pulled down the top of her bathing suit three or four times, repeatedly showing her neighbor her breasts. She then lay down in a chair, still not bothering to make sure her breasts were covered.

The reportee showed deputies photographs he had taken of his neighbor sunbathing, which clearly showed "her right breast and areola sticking out from her bathing suit." The reportee also let deputies listen to a recording he had made of his neighbor taunting him. He stated that he never wanted to see his neighbor's breasts and "felt violated."

When deputies interviewed the subject, she denied insulting her neighbor and exposing her breasts, even when informed of the photos and tape recording. She said she had simply been sunbathing because her doctor had told her it would help her osteoporosis.

The woman was cited for indecent exposure. As deputies left the residence, they saw that she had donned her bathing suit and was once again sunbathing in her yard--but this time, her suit covered her breasts.


Where's the Beef?

West Camino Lucido, Oct. 14, 10:44 a.m.

A carnivorous burglar made a mess while stealing someone else's victuals, a PCSD report said.

The reportee told deputies that around 2 a.m., she had heard her dogs barking but was too afraid to get out of bed or call the police. When she did get up (around 9 a.m.) and entered her kitchen, she found that approximately 50 pounds of meat she had been cooking was missing.

The victim took the reporting deputies into the kitchen, where there was a large stove with a big pot on top of it. There was nothing in the pot, but there was a "trail of meat" leading from the pot to the door, outside and to a desert area beyond.

Following the "trail," deputies saw some shoe imprints leading to what appeared to be tire tracks. Returning indoors to take photographs, the deputies noticed that the kitchen contained a television, a DVD player and a new laptop computer--none of which apparently appealed to the thief.

The victim valued the meat at $150. However, "the food was not even fully cooked, and it was still pretty hard."

More by Anna Mirocha

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