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Panties Exchange

McGee Ranch Road, Aug. 20, 9:07 a.m.

A mother and two young girls became unsuspecting victims of underwear burglary, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department Report.

The mother stated that she left her 9- and 12-year-old daughters with a neighbor for a few hours while she pursued some business. She did not lock the back door to her house, she explained, because the children returned there periodically while staying with the neighbor.

Later, when the woman saw 10 to 15 pairs of panties strewn in the roadway near her home, she thought nothing of it, because she did not think they could have anything to do with her. However, two days later, she discovered that some of her daughters' panties--and some of her own--were missing from their dressers. In her own underwear drawer, she found three pairs of G-string panties she had never seen before. The G-strings--white, orange and pink in color--were definitely "not new," the woman noted. She threw them away.

One neighbor said he had recently seen two strange adolescent white males riding dirt bikes in the area.


Marking His Territory?

UA Area, Sept. 3, 10:31 p.m.

Two UA coeds witnessed their dorm-room door used as a urinal, said a UA Police Department report.

A UA officer was called to Apache-Santa Cruz Hall, 1420 E. Fifth St., where it was reported that two unknown young men had been seen on the third floor, one of whom may have urinated on the door of a room. The officer interviewed the two female occupants, who said that they had heard people in the hallway, followed by what sounded like a stream of liquid hitting their door. Looking through the peephole, one of the females had seen a white male with brown hair and a gray shirt. No other clues were forthcoming, as she could not see below the male's chest.

UA staff said they would call someone to "take care of the spill."


The Things You Gotta Do

North La Cholla Boulevard, Aug. 21, 2:14 p.m.

A sick man caused a scene in an emergency room after apparently having to wait too long for treatment, said a PCSD report.

A sheriff's deputy was called to a hospital, where staff reported that an irate man complaining of pain and vomiting had punched the bottom of the check-in window when he failed to receive service in what he felt was a timely manner. After calling the staff "morons" and swearing profusely, he fell down on the floor in front of the emergency-room doors. It was not specified whether his fall was a dramatic act or the result of a medical condition.

The subject was cited for disorderly conduct and then taken in for treatment.

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