Police Dispatch 

Quick Learner

West Rudolf Drive, March 20, 2:54 p.m.

A developmentally disabled man was taught lewdness by a porn-loving caretaker, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

It was reported that an employee at a local residence for the developmentally challenged had shown a male resident photographs of nude women. Three days later, upon viewing a young female at the facility, the male resident told her she "looked very nice today," at which point the staff member in question said, "Nice execution!" and gave him a high-five.

When the young woman left, the resident declared that the female had "huge tits;" when told by a supervisor that his statement was inappropriate, he said "that was nothing" compared to the photographs he had been shown. The staff member with the photographs was placed on leave.

Coming Clean

West Jusnic Circle, March 20, 11:59 a.m.

A family with a filthy household was reported to law enforcement, said a PCSD report.

An extermination service called the PCSD alleging that unsanitary conditions at a client's house may be endangering children living there. Sheriff's deputies found that the house's kitchen was covered in dried food and liquid; the bathrooms were filthy and cockroach-infested; the bedrooms were filled with dirty clothing, old food and dirty dishes.

The cage of the family-owned rabbit, however, was reportedly clean and in good order.

While the children of the house were found wearing only underwear, they appeared to be healthy, happy and "reasonably clean." While the refrigerator was filthy inside and out, it did contain enough food in sealed containers to assure deputies that family members were well-fed.

The heads of household were notified that Child Protective Services would be called, and the children were sent to their grandparents' while the residence was cleaned.


UA Area, March 28, 4:14 p.m.

A chemistry-class attendee allegedly countered an offensive comment with murder threats, said a UA Police Department report.

A male student stated that a female student in his Chemistry 103 class had been acting very disruptive, hindering his learning. The reportee admitted he turned around and mouthed the word "cunt" at her, and after class, she allegedly approached him and said that her boyfriend would "shoot him for the remarks he made."

In a later interview, the female denied the threat, saying she had in fact told the reportee that if he kept treating her disrespectfully, "someone" unspecified "might" shoot him.

Police were attempting to contact the chemistry professor for the real story.

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