Police Dispatch 

Once Bitten, Twice Harassed

South Camino del Sol, Green Valley, Sept. 21, 9:00 p.m.

A female employee at a resort in Green Valley was bitten in the neck by a male co-worker, said a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The reporter of the crime was shaking and stuttering at the time of police contact, saying that her co-worker Jack had been getting ready to leave work and told her he was "kind of afraid of spiders" and didn't want to go outside alone. He said he would douse the fire in the fireplace while she put away the towels, presumably so they could leave together. She soon felt Jack creep up behind her, rub her shoulders and suddenly nibble her neck. As she walked away, he said, "What would you do if I bit you?" and she replied that she would smack him. Jack then asked, "Then why did you tell me to do it?"

(Previously that day, the woman admitted, she had instructed him to "bite her.")

The victim reported another incident in which she had been unbuttoning her shirt--which she was changing because it had gotten soaked with rain--and Jack had stated, "I'll watch you change." She had decided to work in a wet shirt for the rest of the day.

Police determined that no actual crime had been committed, but the victim should change her work schedule.

Cool Girls Lick

3300 W. Freer Drive, Sept. 21, 11:21 a.m.

According to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report, a seven-year-old girl seeking popularity told her peers that her sister's boyfriend makes her lick chocolate off his genitalia.

The police were contacted by the assistant principal at Ironwood Elementary School, who had heard from a kindergarten boy that a certain female second-grader was spreading a rumor that her older sister's boyfriend puts chocolate on his "down there" and has her orally remove it. The reporting officer interviewed the girl's mother and older sister, who both stated that the boyfriend in question didn't exist. When the second-grader was confronted with this information and asked what was behind the rumor, she stated that it was indeed a fake story, which she had told another girl in order to make a friend. She stated that she felt very bad about the lie.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

UA Area, Sept. 28, 10:02 p.m.

According to a UA Police Department report, a suspicious trail of blood was found outside the UA College of Medicine, 1501 N. Campbell Ave.

A woman reported noticing many drops of blood in the patio of the College of Medicine, in addition to a blood-soaked blue towel that had been stuck in the branches of a nearby mesquite tree. The blood trail began at the parking circle behind the College of Medicine, continued past the College of Pharmacy and ended near the College of Nursing.

More by Anna Mirocha


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