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The Nutcracker Strikes Again

7651 North Oldfather Drive, Aug. 22, 1:37 p.m.

A mischievous Thornydale Elementary School student has made a habit of grabbing other students' testicles and squeezing, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Police arrived at the boy's school shortly after the lunch period, when they met with a staff member who said that a male student had been "grabbed in the privates," so she felt law enforcement should be involved.

The young victim told police that, during lunchtime, the suspect came up to him and "grabbed him by the privates and held onto them." The victim stated that it hurt when this happened; however, it did not hurt anymore.

When questioned by police, the suspect admitted grabbing his schoolmate by the aforementioned body parts. When asked why he did this, the child stated that he did not know, and agreed that it was inappropriate behavior. He admitted that, a few minutes before assaulting the victim in this case, that he had grabbed a different student by his testicles. It appeared to be part of a game he called "nutcracker."

School officials said they would discipline the perpetrator, probably in the form of lunch detention.


Pants-Down Ranting

UA Area Sept. 1, 12:10 a.m.

An intoxicated young man was unwilling to submit to police authority when caught with his pants down, a University of Arizona Police Department report said.

An officer was driving through a parking lot at 1510 N. Vine Ave. when he stopped and noticed a male lying across the back of a vehicle with his pants down around his thighs. The officer approached and took the arm of the apparently drunk and underage man, who shook him off and said, "Go away," declining to explain himself or provide identification. When told to pull his pants back up, the subject refused and said he was "aware of his rights."

Then, the officer reported, he walked the subject to his patrol car and began handcuffing and searching him--a difficult task, since the young man was struggling and yelling, "Police brutality!" the whole time. The officer said he found an ID card in the subject's wallet with a description that didn't match the young man's appearance.

A witness who apparently knew the subject walked by, the report said, and stated that the subject's name was John. When asked by the officer if this was true, the subject stated that he would have the officer fired.

The man was transported to the Pima County Jail and booked as John Doe.

More by Anna Mirocha

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