Police Dispatch
by Saxon Burns
Green Valley, March 16, 9:56 a.m.
A woman accused her elderly neighbor of wandering outside to feed the birds sans pants, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report said.
The woman was smoking a cigarette in the courtyard of her home around 11:15 a.m. on March 15. She said several other residents of the complex regularly gather in the courtyard.
She told a deputy that she noticed her neighbor come out of his villa with some birdseed that he often put in the feeders in front of his home.
"She noticed immediately that he was wearing a button-down shirt and vest-type sweater but no pants or underwear," the report stated.
The woman said she spoke to the man about it, who seemed to be "oblivious" to the fact that he was nude from the waist down. She then went and got her husband to take a look.
According to the report, the woman didn't want to prosecute her neighbor, whom she said was standoffish and would often float, motionless, for long periods of time in the pool all the residents shared.
Sounds Mighty Suspicious
UA Area, April 2, 9:21 a.m.
A woman returned to her office to find a dried whitish fluid smeared on various items, a University of Arizona Police Department report stated.
Police were dispatched to the woman's office in McClelland Hall, 1130 E. Helen St. Once there, an officer noted an unrecognized, "off-white" dried substance on the reportee's computer keyboard, monitor and telephone receiver.
The woman hadn't been in her office for about a week; she said the door was locked, and people could only get in through an adjacent, occupied office. The report stated that several UA staff members and others had entered the office for various reasons during her absence.
An officer took swabs of the substance.
Who's in My House?
River Road and La Canada Drive, March 13, 2:09 p.m.
It appeared an uninvited guest had been living in a vacant house that was up for sale, the home's owner told PCSD authorities.
A man who was keeping an eye on the property reportedly found numerous items that didn't belong in the house, including clothing, a sleeping bag, a motorcycle, a helmet, goggles, a clock radio and the remnants of two joints. Someone had also installed a showerhead in one of the bathrooms where there previously wasn't one.
It wasn't clear exactly how the person who appeared to have been living there got inside, although the owner thought perhaps the intruder had reprogrammed the garage-door opener.
There were no suspects at the time of the report.
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