Police Dispatch
by Saxon Burns
Cortaro Farms Road and Interstate 10, Dec. 26, 7:29 a.m.
A man rifling through garbage so he could dispense a little justice found a bag full of counterfeit money, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.
The reportee said he had rented a Dumpster to hold refuse from a new property he had purchased and was cleaning up. He returned to the property the day after nearly filling the Dumpster to find that someone had put numerous items on top.
In the past, the man said, he had gone through the trash that had been left in his private Dumpsters to see if he could find something that would identify who had left it. He had then taken the trash back to whatever address he could find and left it there, he said.
This time, however, he discovered one of the bags was filled with counterfeit money.
A deputy went into the Dumpster to ascertain whether the sheets of money were counterfeit. He held a $50 bill up to the light, noting the absence of a watermark and the inferiority of the counterfeiter's printing technique. The bag also contained trimmings, printer cartridges and cigarette butts.
The man who had rented the Dumpster was unsure who might have left the phony bills. There were no suspects at the time of the report.
The Baby Owl
Cortaro Farms and Thornydale Roads, Dec. 28, 4:52 p.m.
Someone refashioned a nativity scene when they replaced a stolen baby Jesus with a sculpture of a bird of prey, a PCSD report said.
After noting the theft but before calling authorities, the man placed a sign in front of his house asking for the baby Jesus to be returned.
"Instead of returning the baby Jesus, suspects unknown put a large plastic owl ... in the nativity scene in the place of the baby Jesus," the report stated.
The man then reported the theft. There were no suspects at the time of the report.
If The Doorbell Doesn't Work
Unincoprated Pima County, Dec. 29, 11:59 p.m.
A man said his neighbor launched a piece of electronic equipment through a closed window in order to get his attention, a PCSD report said.
According to the report, the man said he ignored his female neighbor when she came knocking at his door. He believed she subsequently upped the ante by throwing a speaker that was on his patio through a window.
The man said his neighbor agreed to pay for the damages after he confronted her. He didn't want to press charges at the time of the report.
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