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Don't Flush The Evidence

Unincorporated Pima County, Oct. 25, 6:14 p.m.

A woman said someone broke into her home and defecated in her toilet, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

A deputy met with the woman and her 13-year-old daughter at their house. The woman told the deputy "that someone had defecated in the toilet and it was not theirs," the report said. She had flushed the toilet prior to the deputy's arrival, so she was unable to show authorities the evidence.

The woman said a window in the kitchen was partially ajar and that the dust on the sill had been disturbed. However, the window screen was reportedly still attached.

At first, both the mother and daughter said nothing had been taken. However, a check of their provisions showed that half of a loaf of bread and two cans of corned beef were missing.

The deputy informed the woman that "undocumented aliens" may have been responsible for the break-in, as there were only food items missing.

There were no suspects or leads at the time of the report.


Kids These Days

Magee And Thornydale Roads, Oct. 23, 3:23 a.m.

A mother asked authorities to help get her daughter off the computer, according to a PCSD report.

As the deputy walked up to the front door of the residence, he heard a female voice, later identified as belonging to the daughter, yell, "You're a fat ass!"

The girl's mother told the deputy that her daughter had been on the computer all day. She wanted her to log off now that it was after 3 a.m., and she had school in a few hours.

The girl allegedly told the deputy "fuck you" when he asked her what was going on, and then ran out of the house. After a brief chase, the deputy was reportedly able to grab the girl by her ponytail, prompting her to demand that he let go of her "fucking" hair.

The deputy booked her into the Pima County Juvenile Corrections Facility on a charge of disorderly conduct.


Access Denied

Cortaro Farms and Thornydale Roads, Oct. 29, 1:42 p.m.

An elderly woman with "debilitating arthritis" suspected her neighbors of putting a caution barrier in front of a gate leading into her backyard so she couldn't wheel her trash can through it, a PCSD report said.

The deputy saw the caution barrier from the road. It was between a trash can and a gate into the backyard. The elderly woman was unable to move it due to her physical condition, the deputy noted.

The woman said she believed the barrier was placed there by her neighbors as an act of retaliation after she reported them for an unspecified "trash problem."

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