Mailbag

Wait... You're Saying Bob Grimm Is Too Sophisticated?

If he could stop sneering, perhaps Bob Grimm might have realized that the supposedly simple film, The Terminal ("Terminal Effort," Cinema, June 24), he panned is an excellent parable of modern life, full of profound symbolism that he is too sophisticated to discern.

Bruce Kilpatrick


An Endorsement of the Boardwalk

I have my business near The Boardwalk Restaurant and eat there often ("On the Boardwalk," Chow, July 1).

You missed the french fries. That is the best thing in the place. They are homemade fresh in vegetable oil. Only Famous Sam's, with their homemade fries, comes close.

You are right: I go over for coffee in the morning, and sometimes they are late. They have kids and broken-car issues. They are a nice couple and they are really trying to make a go of it. They do need a third person in there at lunch to speed things up; people only have a limited time at lunch. Their Boardwalk burger is as good as the Philly. Try it next time; it is also homemade.

I was in there this morning, and they told me about your article. They took it to heart. Apparently, one of the owners' brothers owned an Italian restaurant. They are switching to his recipe for the pizza sauce and spending a little more. You gave them good advice, and it seems they are taking it.

Paul Demsky


A Battle of the Bands Over Ballots?

Regarding Misbehavin's bassist's letter on the TAMMIES ("A Band That Rocked the Vote," Mailbag, July 1):

The members of Misbehavin' SHOULD be embarrassed. Ron Zastaury tries to use liberal politics (I'm anti-Bush!) and humor (Brian Bromberg beat me up in the parking lot!) to defuse the situation, but still manages to dis and dismiss other, less-efficient/organized bands' fans as "stoned and/or apathetic." Nice.

The Weekly assures me that their votes checked out--no voting early and often. But this across-the-board TAMMIES landslide for a band no one's ever heard should be a lesson--cajoling or begging everyone you ever met to send in a vote can end up making your "winning" band something of a laughingstock.

This all too efficient get-out-the-vote effort also poisons the TAMMIES' popular ballot-voting method as any sort of indication of what's what, and who's who, musically, in Tucson. Band of the Year. Right.

Karl Moeller


Generalizations About Men's Emotions Miss the Mark

Your interview with Patti Harada (TQ&A, July 1), a grief, trauma, and relationship counselor, offered, I thought, some important lessons and advice on creating a whole, integrated life--lessons which I hope to apply to my own. Her comments on the relative emotional complexity of males vs. females, however, left me deeply discouraged about our conceptions of what it means to be a man and a woman in our culture.

"Women are much more complicated emotionally" than men, Harada contends in the interview, and in support of this conclusion, she tells us that women use more words than men, and that the area of emotional processing takes up a larger portion of the female brain than the male. Certainly I am no psychologist, and I have no knowledge of the research I assume she draws on for these claims. As someone who has taught writing for nearly 15 years, though, I do know how dangerous it is to make assumptions about the complexity of a person's internal life based upon their ability to externally verbalize that life. We all experience much more than we know how to say.

Do men truly lack emotional complexity? Or do they still feel compelled to hide their emotions in a culture that continues to leave emotional depth out of its basic definition of masculinity? We characterize an "emotional man" as though he were a contradiction in terms, a kind of mutation, which he would almost literally have to be, given Harada's statement about brain processing. Do we not end up reinforcing that limited view of men and their possibilities with these kinds of pronouncements?

As a man who has dealt with depression (a stereotypically "feminine" disorder) on and off throughout his adult life--I am 43--I find myself in the double bind of being at odds not only with traditional men but with many women and, apparently, even mental health professionals about how "normal" a man I am. Some women will tell a man who expresses emotion that he is "different" from other men, intending this as a compliment. But I see myself as different only to the extent that I talk about what I know so many men feel: doubt, fear, confusion, alienation, sadness. These are not emotions welcome in a society that measures men primarily by their level of achievement: athletic, professional, financial, sexual.

I have two sons, both on the cusp of that shift from boyhood to adolescence. Their mother and I are trying to teach them a more fully fleshed-out, more humane way to imagine the manhood they will both grow into. Some help--something beyond easy generalizations--would be nice.

Michael A. Robinson


That Officer Was Right to Taser That Kid

This letter is in response to Ms. Jennifer Nye's guest commentary, which appeared in your July 8 edition.

Ms. Nye, you can "Monday morning quarterback" the officer's decision all you like, but it's apparent that you only used selective information to reach your conclusion. You repeatedly said "we know" this and "we know" that while presenting your personal opinions as if they were facts. Do you keep a mouse in your pocket, Ms. Nye?

Your commentary failed to mention several pertinent facts (obviously because they would have weakened your conclusion). Instead of focusing on these facts you instead filled your column with irrelevant anecdotal stories and emotional appeals that have no direct bearing on this incident.

THE FACT is that this was a girl with a long history of violence and acting out. THE FACT is that even though she was handcuffed, she was neither helpless nor harmless. THE FACT is that the girl was flailing around in the back of the squad car and trying to kick out the window, with a likelihood of causing injury to herself or to the officers on the scene. THE FACT is that other methods of getting her to calm down failed to work. THE FACT is that the officer repeatedly told the child that the taser would be used if she did not stop. THE FACT is that she chose to ignore the officer's warnings. THE FACT is that once tasered, she immediately calmed down and complied with the officers' commands. And finally, the most important FACT is that the child was not actually injured!

Let me tell you what I think: The police officer made the best decision he could at the time, given the circumstances. And I think that I will not present this opinion as something that "we all" know.

Bob Martino


Props for Songwriters Tour Coverage

I'm just writing a quick thank you for writing the article ("All for One," City Week, July 8) on the three Sacramento acts that performed at Epic Cafe last week, Mike Rofé, SquishtheBadMan and Adam Varona and the FCA. The music was great (I'm biased, being Julie Meyers' older brother), and I hope those who could not check the music out last Wednesday go to the bands' Web sites, mikerofe.com, squishthebandman.com and adamverona.com for a listen.

I think it is great that the Weekly took the time to research and write about the performers, where every other publisher in every other city on their tour, to date, has done nothing other then maybe listing the time and venue of their show. It is just another reason why the Tucson Weekly is one of the best alternative weekly newspapers printed, and why I religiously pick one up and read it every week.

Daniel Meyers