I, Frankenstein

Aaron Eckhart, in a career move as fatal as the time Halle Berry said “Sure, I’ll play Catwoman. What’s the worst that could happen?”, plays Adam Frankenstein, aka Frankenstein’s Monster. Adam has led a lonely undead life for the hundreds of years since he was stitched together and brought to life by crazy science involving electric eels. He’s spent those years scowling a lot, and hitting demons with sticks like some sort of super ninja. His look has progressed from gothic longhaired badass to clean-cut (but probably stinky) metrosexual, replete with a hoodie/trench coat that is just to die for. Really, Adam’s coat is the best thing about the movie, and I confess to wanting one. The film takes place in modern-day England, where some sort of demon prince (Bill Nighy … OF COURSE!) is looking to create an army of Frankenstein monsters so that he may defeat some sort of gargoyle army that equates to the good guys in this movie. I’m not making this up … demons versus gargoyles aided by a semi-reluctant Adam Frankenstein in a kickass jacket. That’s the plot. Stay away … dear God, at all costs, just stay away.